


If I Let You Go

by 185cmbaekhyun



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Bathtub Sex, Crown Prince Sehun, Established Relationship, F/M, Homophobia, Joseon Dynasty, M/M, Secret Relationship, Spit As Lube, Swordfighting, Top Oh Sehun, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 22:08:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22333957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/185cmbaekhyun/pseuds/185cmbaekhyun
Summary: As the crown prince, Sehun has duties to follow.But he follows Jongin instead.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 71
Kudos: 176





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Massive thank you to @Jonginxun for the amazing moodboard AND poster for this story.
> 
> Also, lovely Mishi for being my beta this time and being so patient with me.
> 
> This story is already complete, but I'll be posting in chapters as we finish editing it. So updates will happen pretty often.

The festival is always a place of unrestrained joy. The costumes light up the summer's day, a riot of colour to rival any gardener's paradise. Music fills the air, festive beats lift spirits, making people want to move, jump and sing. Hundreds of shiny, colorful lamps illuminate the palace, and delicious food is shared with the community.

A court musical performance is being held for the Royal family. A dance of swords and colorful hanboks swirling around the bonfire, while the sound of loud drums and tambors thrum in the evening.

However, the crown prince's eyes are busy, seeking that one person that brings him more joy than any festival could ever inspire in him. 

On his throne, Sehun fidgets in his seat, ignoring completely the skillful sword trick executed exquisitely right in front of him. By his side, his older brother Yeonseok enjoys the performance, and on his other side, his younger brother Jisung naps (and drools). Unenthusiastically Sehun reaches over and taps him on the shoulder. He knows better than anyone not to incite their mother's rage. Meaning that, no matter the occasion, they must always present themselves flawlessly and always be good examples of behavior to their servants and allies alike. 

Jisung jolts awake, grunting as he uses his sleeve to wipe the dry saliva sticking on his cheek and nearly trips off his throne rather clumsily. Sehun snorts at him, eyes quickly moving back to the crowd, searching, hoping. 

Until his vision gets blocked by a greenish-blue gown made of soft, satiny fabric, long and loose. Golden adornments decorate the Queen's dress from top to bottom. Sehun's gazes up at his mother, meeting her cold, displeased eyes. 

"You didn't apply enough powder, son. I can see the scar. And that mole." She scolds him, red lips curling down distastefully. 

Instinctively, Sehun claps a hand to the side of his neck, covering his birthmark. "Mother, please. It's not a big deal." Always so detailoriented, always observing, criticizing, fixing what can't be fixed, perfecting what is already perfect. To the Queen, the best can always be beaten by the next best.

For some reason, those little attributes to Sehun's appearance have been frowned upon by his mother, his mole specifically, ever since he can remember. 

To the whole kingdom, Sehun's beauty is unrivaled, but the Queen could always point out a flaw. His jaw is a bit uneven, his lips too narrow. And so on. 

"Of course it is. Your soon-to-be wife will be here soon. You need to look presentable. Cover it now."

Sehun's scowl hardens at the reminder of why they’re holding this festival in the first place. When all Sehun deeply wishes for is to forget about his inevitable future, there's his mother to remind him every single chance she gets, of the sacrifices he's making for their kingdom. 

The constant demands to be betterbetterbetter, to live up to his surname and never find his own happiness, make Sehun withdraw in to himself

"It's not like she's never seen me before." He whines, but still complies with his mother's wishes; it's always better than confronting her anyway. Disgruntled, Sehun accepts the maid's touch up, allowing her to dust both the cheek scar and the mole with tone-matching powder. Jisung is cackling by his side as the maid dabs carefully at his skin with a small sponge, and his mother wanders back to the center throne. 

The palace's grounds soon start buzzing with excitement as the eunuch steps near the bronze bell. After hammering against it and its blaring sound chimes around the palace, the eunuch announces. 

"Princess Manoban has arrived!"

The whole crowd stops to welcome the princess. The music ceases as several pairs of eyes receive her with bewilderment. 

Lisa looks as stunning as ever, leaving everyone speechless. She still has the same pretty smile from when she was a child, Sehun notices as she graciously walks towards him in slow steps along the red carpet stretched on the palace's ground, leading all the way up to the entrance. As much as Sehun tries resenting the princess, he just simply can't bring himself to do it. 

The Queen is looking at him expectantly, perhaps a little challenging too, and Sehun knows he must satisfy her. He rises from his throne and steps down the stairs to meet his bride. 

Their alliance has been built on the foundation of a double coincidence of wants. In exchange for stronger bilateral ties, pledged allegiances, stronger military bases so as to better guard both areas, the emperor's from both provinces have decided to marry their offsprings. 

"Your Majesty," Lisa bows cordially at him, wearing a translucent light blue jeogori and blue chima, hair styled into a single braid, a large ribbon attached to the end decorated with little shimmery ornaments and hair extensions.

"Hey," Sehun greets her back with a brief smile, eyes then trailing back to the crowd, still seeking. 

Lisa looks up at him. Her dark eyes are huge and starred. Red lips curl up and she says. "Take my hand." It comes hushed and discreet, as though coaching Sehun to follow the rules, be convincing, appealing to the audience. 

High expectations cloud everyone's eyes as they stare and hiss through their intrigued giggles, but Sehun's eyes are still searching through the crowd for someone else. Taking matters into her hands, Lisa laces her arm with Sehun's, and together they walk down the carpet side by side, followed by reverent gazes and whispered squeaks of approval. Needless to say, their engagement was received with heartfelt enthusiasm. The couple has been a hot topic that spread beyond the borders of their respective kingdoms. 

As soon as people start scurrying back to their feasts and attention averted from the couple, Lisa mutters. "Can you at least try?"

"Uh?" Sehun's eyes are still hunting fiercely through the crowd. "What did you say?"

"Try to smile. It'll look more convincing." Her voice is soft, not indicating any form of discomfort whatsoever. If anything, she sounds comprehensive, and only then Sehun remembers she's in the same boat as Sehun concerning their marriage. 

But Sehun only frowns harder, eyes unable to find the one he's looking for. Entering the palace, the huge gates close with a thunder behind them, and no longer under the scrutiny of the habitants and the royalties, Lisa drops her arm from Sehun's. 

"That wasn't too bad." She grins. 

"I'm sorry, I was-"

"Looking for him?" Lisa completes, arching a well sculpted eyebrow. "Well, they're expecting us to spend some quality time alone in here."

Sehun feels his face hardening, but he can't help it. "I don't know what to do."

A breeze brushes past, teasing the thin strands of her shoulder-length hair that untangle from her braids. Her voice is every bit as beautiful as her glamour. "It's okay. I know. I have my guard and my palanquin waiting for me outside. No one will see me leaving."

"You don't have to leave."

Sehun has known Lisa for ages, even when she was just a skinny girl with short hair, and Sehun would tease her by calling her his little brother. When it's just the two of them, she doesn't need to address him with hierarchical terms and bow at him. She's one of the few people Sehun can bare his heart to, away from foolish pretenses and flagrant, false fantasies.

"Come on, Sehun. I know you. I'm serious, it's fine. Go find him." Lisa bats her eyes, smiles with blood-red lips. Under the palace's light, she glows.

"I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to waste your time."

"I get it. It's not your fault. You don't love me. I don't love you."

Sehun sighs dejectedly, head lowering as Lisa grabs his hands in consolation. As a child, Sehun was destined for great things, but loving the chosen one for him never occurred when his heart was taken a long time ago by someone else. Despite being betrothed, romantic feelings have never blossomed between them, both mature enough to never force it. 

Lisa looks at their hands, then regards him with a flicker of something inexplicable in her darker-than-ebony eyes. Then she leans in to kiss Sehun's forehead over the headgear with blood-colored lips and whispers. "I'm really sorry for all of this, but you know I'll help you see him whenever I can."

Sehun never needed to tell her, neither ask her for anything. Lisa just simply knew by one look. And for that, Sehun's infinitely grateful. 

"Thank you, Lisa." They hug briefly, and Sehun sends Lisa off with a kiss on her cheek. He escorts her to her awaiting palanquin outside, and watches as it gets carried down the stone-paved ground path, swaying with every movement. 

Once she's gone, Sehun takes a deep breath, heart already racing as he storms toward his quarters, chasing the one he desires to meet the most. 

  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  


Finally, after cursing the journey it takes to navigate his way to his own quarters, Sehun sighs in relief as he stops in front of his door. 

There's only one place left that his target might be, and it's exactly behind these huge, wooden doors. 

When the door slides open at Sehun’s command however, he's greeted by the sweet scent of perfume lingering in the air and dim lights, certainly not how he left his quarters this morning.

“Jongin?” Sehun calls curiously, knowing the Advisor was the only one, save security, to have access to his chambers.

The man in question popped his head out from Sehun’s bedroom, the gentle smile he reserves just for the prince gracing his face.

“Good evening, your highness,” Jongin greets, meeting Sehun in the middle of the room. The butterflies in Sehun's chest flutter and struggle to fly away.

Jongin slips an arm gently around Sehun’s waist to pull him close and places a dry kiss on the prince’s cheek, watching the skin flush slightly in response. 

“Jongin,” Sehun returns, finding the stress of his day melting away at the elder’s touch, “This is a pleasant surprise.”

“Yes, well,” Jongin starts, “When you were forced to miss our date to meet your future wife, I began scheming,” he goes on with a teasing wink. As much as the topic feels morbid to talk about for Sehun, Jongin doesn't ever seem to take it to heart, Instead he turns it into a more motivation to please his prince on his own terms. And truth be told, Sehun has always received his indulgent services with matching enthusiasm. 

“As elated as I am to see you, I’m absolutely exhausted.”

The aromatic scent wafts from the candlelights, and the flames cast a warm, comforting glow across the prince's face as he relishes the loving pat on his cheek followed by a rub on the shoulder.

Jongin’s arm moved from around Sehun’s waist and he takes his hand instead, pulling him toward the washing room.

“Of course not, your majesty,” Jongin mutters, “I have nothing, but a relaxing evening planned for you.”

Sehun lets out a sigh, relieved that there is nothing expected of him. He follows Jongin’s lead through his chamber to the washing room, eyes lighting up when he comes across the rarely used tub filled, if you can call it that way. The room is scarcely lit, mostly illuminated by several scented candles that are placed strategically throughout.

The bath occupies the whole expanse of the room, spacious and big enough to shelter almost an entire army, forming a large pool that stretches from one corner to the other though it's barely ever used. At first, Sehun's struck by the imposing columns all around the rectangular pool. Each column is linked to the next by a perfect archway and the curved ceiling is inlaid with gold. The water itself is as blue as glacier run-off, and he wonders if it was also mineralized. The stone is cold beneath his bare feet and he shivers a little in his nakedness, immersed in the aromatherapy lavender oil and rose petals sprinkled all around the pool. His senses instantly enjoy soaking in the bathas it revives and calms his body.

Sehun lets himself relax in the water, eyes closed and arms spread. Slowly, the stress starts seeping out of his muscles. When he opens his eyes, he sees Jongin standing by the edge of the tub, staring at him intently in the dimness of the room.

“I hope this is enough to relieve your stress,” Jongin said, releasing Sehun’s hand and turning to face him, his brown orbs with flecks of gold reflecting the scented candles.

“I have noticed you mentioning more recently that you wish you had time to enjoy a bath.”

A low heat settled into Sehun as Jongin’s agile fingers begin to undo the fastenings of it. The dim lights flickered like an old burning candle.

“You plan to join me?” Sehun asks hopefully, raising an eyebrow. Jongin stands close, eyes focused downwards on the task at hand. Sehun thinks he looks endearing like this.

Jongin hums his ascent with a small nod, “Is that what my majesty wants?"

Sehun can’t help the light laugh that finds its way through is nose, “Irrevocably.”

“Then my only choice is to obey,” Jongin replies, deftly removing Sehun’s jeogeori and hanging it on one of the hooks mounted to the wall.

Jongin's roughly padded fingers chase goosebumps across Sehun’s skin as he slides the robe down Sehun's shoulders, carelessly discarding them to the floor. He moves next to Sehun’s undergarments, but he's stopped by Sehun’s own hands rising to work at the buttons of Jongin’s vest.

“You can never allow me to have all the fun, can you?” Jongin teases, rolling his eyes playfully as he allows Sehun to remove the vest and his own jeogeori beneath it.

“You should be well aware of that by now,” Sehun returns as his hands slide carefully along Jongin’s narrow hips.

He pulls Jongin closer, so he can press an open-mouthed kiss to the ridges along his neck. Jongin clicks his tongue at Sehun though his body shivers a little at the touch.

“This is not about me,” he chastises, hands cupping Sehun’s face.

Sehun finds himself drawn into a lingering kiss, Jongin’s lips working expertly against his own until the prince is pliant against him. 

Once Sehun melts against Jongin, his trousers are next to find their way from him, hands sweeping up his legs to settle against the muscles of his ass after they were gone. 

The piece is also hurled to a corner of the washing room. Jongin then makes quick work of own pants, removing them without ceremony so they were both naked, showing where he's half hard, the length of him nestled comfortably against Sehun’s thigh as he subtly rocks into it, pressing his face in Sehun’s neck to hide his flush.

Jongin finally steps back, eyes slowly roving Sehun’s body before he reaches for his hand. Sehun is sorely tempted to tease Jongin’s erection, touch it, just feel it in his palms already, but he's waylaid by a hand on the small of his back as he's ushered toward the water.

The water is at the perfect temperature when Sehun slips into it. 

Sehun enters the steaming bath completely nude, half-engorged cock bobbing between his thighs eagerly. Sehun sprawls out in the sunken marble bath, with his elbows on the edge. He watches Jongin approach with hooded eyes, so his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip.

Jongin follows the edge of the pool around to Sehun and enters the water quite near him. He can't help the sigh that escapes him as he's submerged into the hot water. It chases the cold from his skin instantly. 

The glint in Jongin’s eyes fades for a moment, and then it gets brighter. There's always a fire behind his gaze, no matter what he's doing. His eyes just sparkle, and Sehun wants to get lost in them every time.

“Come here,” Sehun says, holding his arms out above the bathwater. Jongin obliges, instantly moving the rest of the way, until he is straddling Sehun and sitting on his lap, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in Sehun’s neck. 

For a while, that’s all they do, just kiss. The water starts to get lukewarm rather than comfortably warm, but neither of them really take any notice. Jongin just kisses Sehun with more vigor, opening his mouth so Sehun can explore, and their legs squeak against the tub while their lips smack together.

A moment later and a glass of Sehun’s desired springwine gets placed in his hand. Sehun makes himself comfortable, sipping his wine and relishing in the taste. One of his arms slip around Jongin’s waist and makes itself at home on the opposite hip, his forearm brushing Jongin’s erection slightly as it goes.

It’s a pleasant sensation, the warm water, his lover on top of him. Not yet unbearably aroused, Jongin feels no rush to take care of it, fine to relax into Sehun’s chest and be embraced, head resting on Sehun's broad shoulder as the prince brushed his nose along his neck.

“I can see the appeal in this,” Sehun murmurs after several comfortably silent minutes.

Jongin hums. “It is a splendid end to a rather arduous day,” he compliments, breathing deeply as if to bring himself back to the present moment.

Sehun wonders what Jongin thinks about when he grows quiet like this. Not his usual characteristic quietness, but one that comes paired with a slight pout to his lips. Jongin never voices his worries, but Sehun knows they are there, palpable amidst his own.

But here, just the two of them breathing in each other's scent, cocooned in their own bubble of love, sipping wine and skin touching, all disturbances melt away.

Even if just for a while.

They both finish the wine in silence with an exchange of fond smiles, sharing from the same crystal glass. Jongin ends up far more affected than Sehun by the strong wine, not as much of a heavy drinker as Sehun is. 

Jongin sets the glasses out of the way and proceeds to pour a fair amount of Sehun’s preferred soap into his own hand. He lathers it up between his palms to run them along Sehun’s skin, the smell of it permeating through the humid room. 

Jongin’s nimble fingers caress Sehun as he washes him, kneading tired muscles as he demonstrates just how skillful his hands can be.

Sehun sucks in a shocked breath when Jongin’s hands cup his steadily hardening erection, resting his chin on Sehun’s shoulder as he does so. His gentle touch turns surer as he slides his hand up, his thumb slowly circling the head of Sehun’s dick as he reaches full hardness. Sehun tilts his back, letting out a soft moan as he feels Jongin's mouth sucking under his jaw. 

Jongin’s unoccupied hand snakes up Sehun’s stomach and finds a nipple, twisting it lightly into a peak before giving it a pinch. Sehun keens, breath pushing out raggedly from his mouth.

“Jongin,” he moans quietly, as attention is laved on his other nipple.

“Relax Sehun,” Jongin coaxes, grip tightening on his cock, rhythm still subdued.

“Nini, please,” Sehun groans, greedy hands groping Jongin's ass to pull him closer against him. "I want to fuck you."

“Don't think I'll ever say no to that, my prince.” Jongin says, his voice low and deliciously close to Sehun’s ear. 

“Then let me-,“ Sehun breaths, only to be cut off.

“I want to feel you inside me,” Jongin whispers, thumb swiping across the sensitive head of Sehun’s cock before pressing a nail against the slit.

Sehun’s hands grasp at Jongin’s thighs, using them as leverage to grind himself up against Jongin. 

He allows a whine to escape when Jongin suddenly releases his dick, nails digging into the smooth surface of Jongin’s legs, knowing he won’t do any damage.

“Touch me,” Jongin says breathlessly. Sehun just nods before pulling Jongin closer still by his ass and latching his lips onto one of Jongin’s nipples. It's just terrifically insane how sensitive Jongin is there. Usually, Sehun likes to watch Jongin tease his own nipples, because Jongin makes it seem like a performance all on its own. Even still, Sehun thrives off the little pants Jongin tries to suppress when Sehun sucks.

Maybe Jongin wanted Sehun to touch his cock, but instead, Sehun moves his pointer finger to Jongin’s lower back, right above his crack, before slowly moving it down, down, towards his hole. Jongin gasps and clutches at Sehun’s wet hair. Sehun looks up, his tongue flicking out over the darkening bud, just as Jongin’s eyes fly open at the sensation of Sehun’s finger nearing closer to his rim.

“Prep me now,” Jongin directs, earning Sehun’s immediate obedience, swallowing heavily when their erections brushed and the still warm water sloshed around them. 

Sehun keeps him from slotting them together with a firm hand to his hip, instead guiding Jongin further up so he kneels. A familiar vial is produced, and Jongin feels a shiver wrack his body. 

According to the merchant they bought it from, the oil contains an aphrodisiac, and everytime they’ve made use of it, it's been a mind blowing experience. Hence, Sehun always stashes many vials of the oil in his personal chests.

Sehun, as always, is careful as he opens Jongin up. The lubricant as obviously not water based, as it doesn't dissolve when Sehun’s hand is submerged. Jongin uses Sehun’s shoulders for support as he pushes back against the other man’s fingers as they go about their task. All the while Jongin lavishes Sehun with soft praises, spoiling the prince.

“Beautiful,” it's Sehun who declares this time, and suddenly their roles switch, just like that, with Sehun's words coming to wreck him. When Jongin is finally loose enough to rock back eagerly onto three of Sehun’s slick fingers, “I never tire of seeing you like this, my love,” he continues, causing Jongin to bury his face into his neck to hide.

“No,” Sehun grunts, “Let me see you.”

Jongin huffs against his skin but acquiesces, lifting his head again. Sehun uses his free hand to cup Jongin’s face, bringing him for a kiss that turns heated quickly.

“Sehun,” Jongin groans, when his mouth gets freed, “Please, I am more than prepared.”

“Sure,” Sehun agrees, “But I do so enjoy having you like this,” he admits, a sly smile gracing his face.

Sehun relents though, removing his fingers and running his hand up Jongin’s ass to press against his lower back, drawing him closer. He makes quick work of slicking up his cock.

Turning his head, Jongin watches with rapt attention as the prince thumbs along the reddened head, taking short pleasure in his own hand. When he's caught watching, Sehun releases himself and places a short kiss to Jongin’s lips, his hands coming to rest on slim hips.

Jongin sighs in relief as he reaches down, Sehun’s eyelids fluttering when Jongin finally takes him in hand. He secures Sehun’s length, sitting back until it nudges at his loose rim. There's a short moment of resistance before Jongin is able to work the head inside, both men groaning at the steady press of Sehun into him.

Sehun leans forward and takes one of Jongin’s nipples, sucking harshly as he works it to a peak, flicking the other with his fingers. Jongin’s grip on Sehun’s shoulders tightens as he sinks down, able to feel the wonderful head of Sehun’s cock as it gets buried further. He glances down to see Sehun resting his chin on Jongin’s sternum, gazing up at him with adoration. Finally, Jongin sits flush against Sehun’s hips, legs trembling slightly as he adjusts.

“So warm,” Sehun praises, hands skimming along Jongin’s back as he sucks kisses into his neck, “And soft. Beautiful.”

Jongin relishes the praise, head stretched back to allow Sehun better access to his neck. When Sehun brings his attention back to Jongin’s lips, he slowly rocks forward, moaning through their kiss at the slow grind. 

Sehun adjusts, sitting back to gain some leverage and assist Jongin in rising on his knees, before pulling them back together, thrusting his hips up to meet Jongin sinking down. Jongin cries out, the angle striking his prostate. Around them the water sloshes dangerously, splashing out to the edges.

Sehun continues though, setting a slow but forceful pace as he fucks up into his lover. Jongin slides his hands to Sehun’s chest for balance, though he's all but at Sehun’s mercy for the grip he has on his hips. His hair untangles from the bun tied upon his head, long, black strands falling over his eyes and around his face, the wetness making them stick to his skin.

“You’re my greatest weakness, you know?” Sehun confesses, so close to Jongin’s ear that he sticks out with his tongue to caress the shell of it.

“Sehun,” Jongin moans, the air punched out of him with another of Sehun’s hard thrusts.

“I would raze cities for you, Jongin,” Sehun continues, fingers caressing the supple flesh at Jongin’s hips, “Defy Royalty a thousand times over.”

“No lying,” Jongin gasps as he's held against Sehun, who grinds himself deeply into the other man, a slow torturous attack on his prostate.

“Never to you, my love.” Sehun vows, sucking a harsh mark into Jongin’s clavicle.

Jongin writhes on top of Sehun, harsh panting breaths mixing with the already tepid air of the room.

“Sehun, please. Oh God,” he cries when Sehun finally relents and clasps a firm hand around Jongin’s neglected cock.

Sehun counters his slow hips with a fast hand, wrenching heightening cries out of Jongin as he pulls him closer to finishing. He moves his other hand to Jongin’s hip, going down his lower back, touching his stretched rim, feeling where he slips in and out of Jongin.

“I would keep you like this always if I could, at my mercy,” Sehun says, voice low and so, so beautifully dangerous.

“I’m--, I won’t last, I’m a-almost,” Jongin stutters out, prostate battered by the thick ridges of Sehun’s cockhead as his own is circled with a vicious thumb.

“So, don’t,” Sehun answers, nuzzling the underside of Jongin’s jaw gently.

Jongin pushes himself back, extending his arms fully, hands grasping for Sehun’s shoulders in desperation as he feels himself reach the tipping point. He tips his head back, mouth open in a long, loud cry of Sehun’s name as his orgasm crashes through him. 

Sehun pumps him through the last of it, allowing Jongin to collapse against his chest fully, breathing heavily as he tries to suck in enough oxygen.

“You're so gorgeous,” Sehun praises, fingers still exploring where they are connected as his other hand comes to rest low on Jongin’s back, “Almost done, I’m close, my dear,” he assures Jongin, waiting until he has a nod from the man in his arms.

Sehun adjusts them slightly, bracing himself more fully. Jongin’s arms wrap around his neck, fingers of one hand slipping in Sehun’s hair as the prince pulls out. He thrusts back in with less force than before but quickly picks up his pace, keeping an angle that won’t punish Jongin’s oversensitive prostate.

Desperate little noises are wrenched from Jongin as Sehun chases his release. He presses his fingers at Jongin’s rim, relishing in the moans that get delivered to his ears.

“So good for me, Jongin,” Sehun hisses, “Your noises will be the death of me, my love.”

“Sehun, please,” Jongin begs, not entirely sure what he's asking for. He's just limp in Sehun's arms, eyes covered by his own hair.

“Almost,” Sehun promises, “You feel wonderful, my love, so good.”

It doesn’t take much longer for Sehun’s rhythm to falter, a sure sign he is close. Jongin drops his hands to caress along Sehun’s neck, hands sliding up to tug at his hair, knowing it will be the push he needs to reach his end. Sure enough, Sehun lets out a groan at the first touch to his neck and buries his cry of Jongin’s name into the man’s shoulder as he pushes deep, releasing into the tight channel of the other man.

While Sehun recovers, his head tips back against the edge of the tub, Jongin has regained enough sense to realize they’ve made a mess. Water coats the floor, petals scattered all around. 

Their clothes are a sopping heap in the corner and a few of the candles have been knocked askew. Soothing hands on Sehun’s back bring him back to Jongin, who lifts himself enough to slide free, both men making faces at the sensation, and then Jongin is promptly pulled back against Sehun’s chest.

“We should get out,” Jongin suggests, his cheek resting on Sehun’s shoulder, “The water's turned cold, you’ll get sick.”

Sehun hums, the sound reverberating against Jongin, “Right,” he admits tiredly, sighing.

Jongin goes first, standing on unsteady legs. His feet slap along the wet floor as he seeks out towels. Sehun takes the one that's offered and the two dry off before retreating back to the bedchamber 

Towel abandoned, Sehun pulls Jongin into bed, burying them both underneath the duvet. He lays Jongin down on the sheets, strokes his hair the way he does to him so many times. Jongin looks at him, and his eyes spark with the heat of stars

He keeps the Jongin close with an arm around his waist as he settles closely behind, back to chest 

“Are you quite relaxed, my prince?” Jongin asks as Sehun's nose finds its way into Jongin’s hair.

“More so than I have been all week,” Sehun says with a small smile.

He yawns, sleep coming to him faster than it had in many days. Sehun starts a slow caress up and down his hands against his arms, just the right side of too soft to tickle.

“Go to sleep,” Jongin coos lightly, “I’ll be here for a little longer.”

Sehun barely manages a nod, the soothing fingers along his knuckles make his eyes impossible to open again. He lets himself drift off, privy to Jongin humming a lullaby. It isn’t long before he's asleep, body sinking heavily into the mattress and his love following close behind.

Soon, when duty calls and orders are bestowed by emperors, they'll have to part.


	2. Chapter 2

"Sword practice tomorrow morning?" Jongin suggests, later when he's about to leave and fastening his vest. Dawn is breaking outside, and they both know the chances of getting caught are slim, almost none. 

"Sure. I'm gonna kick your ass again." Sehun quirps, slapping Jongin's butt, and he flinches, groaning a little. 

"I'm still sore." Jongin complains, rubbing his rear as a blush reaches his cheeks. Sehun chuckles, feeling smug at the declaration. In an effort to make it up to Jongin, he wraps his arms around him and kisses him on the cheek.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"I like it." Jongin giggles. "It's like I still can feel you inside me," he says, sneaking a coy smile. 

Sehun's mouth is left hanging ajar, throat gone dry. Jongin really is a force to be reckoned with, in all his lack of subtlety.

"Are you sure you have to go?" Sehun pouts, arms tightening around Jongin. "Can't you just stay?" It just so happens that Jongin is really, really ravishing, and he's afraid he may never be able to let him leave.

"You know I can't." Jongin utters, brows knitting a little. "You'll see me tomorrow, though."

"Fine. Good night. Sleep well." Sehun huffs, relenting at last. 

Jongin placates him by leaning over and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “Shush. It’s fine. Dream of me, okay?"

Their goodbye kiss turns into an exchange of repetitive small pecks as they grip at each other's robes and giggle against each other's mouths. 

"Love you."

Jongin tells him, with the usual perfect smile that gives too much away, serene when he looks at Sehun. Breath-taking, unpracticed smiles reserved just for him.

It hurts watching him leave, everytime. But despite the sudden loneliness, Sehun's lips still tingle with the taste of Jongin's mouth. His skin still hot from Jongin's fervent touches. 

With a satisfied smile, Sehun spins on his heels, coming across a scared little child standing in front of him wearing nothing but the thin clothes of a servant, dirty and tattered.

"What are you doing out here, child? It's late." Scolds Sehun, feeling a little scared himself. His quarters are forbidden territory to the servants at that hour of the night. For a fleeting moment, Sehun dreads what that servant might have seen or heard. Then he remembers he's a prince, and he shouldn't fear anyone below his position.

"I was… I'm looking for the way out. Forgive me, your majesty." The child squeaks out, bowing all the way down until his knees reach the floor. 

"Why are you strolling around the palace on your own anyway?"

Other royals would wrinkle their snobby noses at the sight of a peasant stepping in their chambers. But not Sehun, known for being a benevolent king who respects and accepts everyone, and believes that there's a sparkle in every darkness, behind every cloud, so when coldness comes he searches for the warmth.

Instead of admonishing the servant, he kneels down next to him, placing a hand on his scrawny shoulder. 

The child winces, trembles, then sniffs before stammering. "I'm really sorry, your majesty. Please, don't punish me." His eyes never lift from the floor, avoiding his majesty. 

"It's okay. Just go." Sehun says as softly as he can, intending to assure the servant he's in no trouble. "Go straight home."

The child haphazardly stands and vanishes out the chamber's exit without glancing back, skinny legs nearly tumbling over each other.

Sehun sighs, standing to his feet. He smooths his blue robe before he steps inside the confines of his room and shrugs off all inconveniences.

Tomorrow, he needs to be a prince again. Though he isn't quite used to that yet. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


As soon as Sehun steps through the gates, an eunuch announces his arrival. Sehun kneels on the floor and bows, pressing his forehead to the cool wooden floor in a proper show of obeisance.

The Queen is a beauty of her own. Proud, and regal, and swathed in silks of purple and white. A grand wig crests her head, adorned with clusters of multicolor jewels. She sits on a dais and gazes down her nose at Sehun. The King sits quietly at her side, but his expression is just as odious.

"Mother. Why have you summoned me here?" Sehun speaks over the cutting silence of the room and steadily increasing anxiety. "What's the matter?" He persists, upon receiving a glare from his mother. 

"I was told about your little misconducts last night. And I am not pleased."

A chill slides up Sehun’s spine "What do you mean?"

"You were caught doing something absurdly wrong. With your advisor. This is unacceptable. You have an intended."

Sehun shuts his eyes briefly. So this is where things are headed, he thinks before putting his brain to work to come up with an excuse. Surely, he knew such setbacks would surface at any moment, but he's never bothered planning a way out beforehand. Now the thought bursts like a blister when he realizes he might not come up with anything credible enough. 

"Lies. You have no proof to accuse me of such a thing." Is what he says, feigning offense.

"I do, of course. That little boy over there." The Queen lifts her hand, the jewelry

around her wrists bouncing and clattering as she points to a corner of the chamber. 

Sehun sees the boy from last night standing near, the same worn out clothes, the same guilty look in his eyes. For the first time, Sehun doesn't feel remorse for a peasant. 

"He claims to have seen you and Kim Jongin being intimate. Exchanging words of affection."

"You would believe him? Instead of your own son?" Sehun snorts, his palms have become clammy on top of his knees. He should have seen this was coming one way or another.

"Hyeon Jae and his family are utterly faithful to their Queen. I don't think a child would ever come up with the obscenities he claims he heard last night."

"What did you hear, kid?" Sehun prompts, staring down at the servant. "Tell me." His voice roars with the command.

Between sobs, the little servant hesitantly drifts closer, brushing his nose with the palm of his hand. 

"Mr Kim was saying he was sore in his rear parts. And that he liked it because it was like still feeling your majesty inside him."

Shame creeps up Sehun's chest at being exposed like that, with Jongin. All because he didn't know how to be careful. All because he was greedy for more. After years, he should have known better.

"You two kissed. And said 'I love you'" The servant continues, with slumped shoulders and trembling hands. 

Even though nothing but rage roils in Sehun's gut, he can't help the fearful thoughts that spring to his mind. Of losing Jongin.

The Queen levels him an even look,her voice changing to ring with even more power as she accuses. "This isn't how a king should behave." 

"I'm not King yet. It shouldn't matter what I do in the confines of my own chambers, nor who I lay with. I'm going to marry the one you arranged for me in the end regardless."

Black eyes burn with wildfire, Sehun sees the Queen's fists clenching, her long,manicured nails digging into her own palms. 

"He's a man. That's filthy. It's a sin. He's nothing but a worthless whore." She snarls. "A man can't give you an offspring to keep our bloodline with tenacity and rigour."

Sehun bolts upright to his feet, affronted by such callousness.

"Don't talk about him like that, mother!" He snaps, clenching his fists. "I love him."

"Enough!" The King finally intervenes from his throne. "From now on, you will be faithful to your wife. And you will no longer see Mr Kim."

"You can't do that. I'm not a child." Objects Sehun, losing his composure and wit altogether, for fear a day like this would dawn.

"You act as one, you get punished as one." Reasons his father, unyielding. 

"I don't want this throne. I don't want this title. You let Yeonseok hyung renounce it to marry the woman he loved. Why do you do this to me?"

"Yeonseok is too soft hearted. He's not fit for the throne. You are. That's your destiny" His father justifies. 

Sehun knows that he's just a pawn to them. An apparent heir that will strengthen their legacy. His brother didn't meet their demands to inherit the crown, so they moved to their next prey.

"Your brother and his wife love each other. What you have with your little toy could never be love." The Queen chimes in, and the smirk on her face is one Sehun wishes he could claw off with his bare, royal hands. 

"You don't know anything about love." He spits, sourly. "I demand to see Jongin right now. Let me talk to him."

The Queen's eyes flash with something vicious for a moment, before she scoffs and declares. 

"Mr. Kim doesn't work for us anymore. He's been dismissed from the palace."

Sehun feels her words puncture the throbbing, vulnerable flesh of his heart. He's lost Jongin, just like that, torn apart from him without a farewell.

"You can't do that!" He cries out, then he turns to his father. "Please, father. Can you reconsider?"

He steels his voice, such that no emotion seeps through, not even the slightest, he needs to change their minds on that decision and throwing tantrums isn't going to take him anywhere. There's an amused tug of thin lips as the man before him takes no time to ponder his answer.

"It's already been decided. We'll be assigning you a new advisor soon."

At his father's words, Sehun gives in, not daring to step out of line because one can never be above the King when you're in Joseon. It's a rule that everyone is aware of. Even his foes.

"You can see yourself out now."

Rules are rules, so with a single gesture from the Queen, the guards move forward to escort him out. 

And such is his duty, Sehun will obey and cater to their demands. For now at least, when all eyes are upon him. Arguing with them is a losing battle anyway. But that doesn't mean he will stop fighting. For Jongin, he would fight the most tragic wars. 

  
  


  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  


Sehun goes through the motions of life. Waking, dressing, eating, training. He loses himself in his bow and quiver while the plum trees scatter their blossoms, turn green with new leaves. Sehun gnaws on his lip and shoots, arrow after arrow. 

The thud of the targets echoe, dull and unsatisfying. He sees Jongin in his mind’s eye, him dashing across the archery fields and balancing fruit on his head as a joke, throwing himself in the path of Sehun’s arrows at the last moment to make him shriek in horror. 

But he is no longer here, and somehow the fields are bleaker even in winter’s total absence. His guard, Chanyeol is his only companion that won't spit invasive questions or treat him like a stray dog that needs attention. He anchors Sehun to keep training and look past the rumors. Chanyeol is a good friend indeed, Sehun would have been lost a long time ago if it wasn't for his guard. Still, Sehun isn't in need of just a friend. He already has one. What he misses is his boyfriend. His lover. His soulmate.

He overhears the gossip hissed by the servants behind closed doors, from the servants, who bow to him in the hallways and defer to his every need, but as soon as he turns his back, they start whispering about how the crown prince had sinned and laid with another man.

Eager to prove himself to be more than just gossip, Sehun struggles to exponentially improve, in both combat and strategy. In both, knowledge and spirituality. 

Overall, his skill with the bow is, in truth, the only thing that comes to him with relative ease. Sehun can hit a target hung at over a hundred paces, he can shoot clay pigeons from the back of a galloping horse, he can fire ten arrows in succession by holding them in one hand, but that's not enough to become a great king. Not even enough that people may overlook the truth and still look up to him.

No man rules a kingdom by maneuvering a bow and a handful of arrows. 

The truth is, without Jongin, Sehun is good for absolutely nothing. 

Initially, Jongin was brought to the palace to be Sehun's servant. At the time, Sehun was a lonely child. His brother, 10 years older than him, was already following his royal duties as expected of him. With loneliness, a lack of interest soon followed, and Sehun started failing school, and sword sparring, and archery, and everything else that was required of a prince, never paring up to his mother's standards. Until he met Kim Jongin, the little boy who arrived with a guileless smile on his face, but instantly proved to be anything but that.

Jongin didn't bow at Sehun, nor did he act astonished by all the wealth within reach. Instead, he tutored Sehun in everything he needed guidance. Calligraphy, archery, poetry, swordsmanship, even cooking. You name the occupation, Jongin and his brilliant mind excelled in all of them. One would have thought Jongin was years older than Sehun, he acted as such most of the time, but in fact, they were both the same age, just different in life experiences. 

Jongin was a prodigy, and Sehun was simply lazy. 

When Sehun turned 15, they shared their first kiss. Innocent, inexperienced but full of certainty from both parts as they had been flirting for months prior to it. That night, Jongin also dropped to his knees as he lifted Sehun's robe, and put his mouth around him. It was sloppy and too fast. Sehun was more frightened than anything else as he watched Jongin choking around his dick, tears spilling from his eyes. But in the end, it was just another thing to add to the list of things Jongin taught him. 

Consequently, Sehun named him head of advisory, after all such talent shouldn't be used to be called a mere servant, Sehun never quite liked calling him that. 

Calling him his advisor was more fitting, especially when Jongin had lead him through the darkest places countless times, had given him a shoulder to cry on when he needed, shown him what true love felt like. Giving and receiving.

Behind Sehun's every act, stood Jongin, and now the spot is empty. And so is Sehun's heart. 

With one evening comes a knock on the wooden door. Chanyeol doesn't wait for him to speak, striding to the entrance with heavy steps and sliding it open, bursting into the room. 

"How did that kid sneak in, by the way? Where were you?" Sehun laments yet again instead of greeting his friend. It's been weeks and he's still dwelling on the devastating turn of events, and how things don't quite add up.

"Following your own orders. You instructed me to not stand guard near your room when you're with Jongin. Which I'm very thankful for. Some things are not meant to be heard."

Chanyeol brings his gloved palms up in defense as he kneels down across Sehun. 

"Yeah, that. I'm sorry. I should have been more careful." 

The reading table is situated between them, the books strewn about neglected, unlike the notes Sehun's been scribbling down day and night, pouring out his feelings and longing thoughts. All about Jongin, unsurprisingly.

"I'm so fucking angry. I need to find out where he is. I need to see him." Sehun blurts, clenching his fist with unconcealed fury over the surface of the table.

"I know where he is." Chanyeol says, nonchalantly. Sehun gawks, eyes widening. There's a tug of eagerness in his heart.

"You do?"

"Of course. He's working at the Seonggyungwan University, just beyond the council's headquarters." 

Educational institutions are extremely widespread in the country, and there couldn't be a better way to put Jongin's talents to use. Something bubbles inside his stomach, a mixture of hope and excitement.All of a sudden it feels warm where it has been cold for so long. 

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I'm telling you now, because I've just found out."

"I'm going to see him." Sehun says, eyes sparkling. Chanyeol looks at him with a fond grin having missed seeing the prince so happy. 

"You can't go now. It's too soon. All guards have been ordered to not let you through the gates."

Sehun sighs, fingertips tapping against the table as a frown morphs into his features. "What about tomorrow night?" He suggests. Chanyeol scratches his chin, considering. 

"That sounds safe. I can cover you."

A smile finds its way back to Sehun's lips.

"I knew I could count on you."


	3. Chapter 3

The Joseon palaces are divided into four quarters: the north, east, west and central wings. 

The southern gates are reserved for trade and easy access to the borders of the rest of the world, vessels docked for voyages by sea within his father's reign, and that becomes exactly his chosen getaway.

When the moonlight is brightest, Sehun puts a veiled hat on his head and wraps himself in one of his old robes. Trying to be as stealthy as he can, Sehun presses himself against the nearest wall to avoid the guards on patrol. 

He meets Chanyeol near his house. The tall guard clad in his black armour with his broadsword strapped to his back. 

The prince exhales in annoyance as he quickly takes a turn before he can be spotted and inches closer to his own escape route with his guard right in tow.

After that, it's easy to climb over the walls unnoticed, their heights enabling a safe landing. Immediately, they head out to town where they blend into the crowd of vendors and chattering passerbys. 

Further ahead, where there's barely any people, sounds or lights, stands a small cottage. Perched on the plains, near the woods, so old and poor that it's surprising it is still standing.

It crouches low onto the grassy embankment, as though trying to hide, but the misshapen roof was too large to go unnoticed. Through the darkness Sehun can see the coarse, unevenly sized, grey stones that made up the walls. He slowly gets closer, the occasional flash of color, emitted by the grey stones looking like eyes trying to steal a glimpse of the world. Chanyeol stays put by the fence in vigilance, while Sehun approaches the house.

On the porch, Sehun spots Jongin sitting on his own, with a cloth-bound book as his only company.

He's always been called out for reading by the pavilion to enrich himself. It's feels good to know his efforts have not gone to vain, now that he's been handed a position to explore his knowledge in literature. 

Still, he looks despondent and small, knees to his chest as they support the book he's so engrossed in under his eyes. There's that slight frown etched on his lips, like he's trying to concentrate but unwelcome thoughts keep barraging him.

He looks like someone who's broken, both inside and out. 

Suddenly, Sehun's legs freeze and his heart starts pounding at an insane pace that has him struggling to exhale. He hasn't seen Jongin in weeks, he's missed him, the pain sits in his gut like a slow-burning fire. Now, Jongin's right there, just the stretch of a hand away, and Sehun isn't sure he can handle such hush of emotions. 

"Who's there?" Jongin asks, standing up to scan his surroundings. "Is anybody out there?" He sounds genuine in his puzzlement and maybe just a little scared. More guarded than anything. Jongin isn't a man to back down from a battle. 

Sehun startles and recoils to the corner, cursing under his breath. Of course Jongin would sense a foreign presence lurking around. Nothing ever passes unnoticed by his hunter senses. 

"It's me," He mutters, voice highly strung "Jongin. It's me." He repeats, a little louder. 

Jongin spins towards the voice, his eyes widen in the fraction of a second, until they land on Sehun, standing still by the corner of the porch. 

Uncertainty seem to cloud his mind, and Sehun's heart skips a beat, as Jongin rushes over. He crosses the porch in long, bold strides until he's backing him up against the wall. He cups Sehun's face in both hands and kisses him desperately.

Heavy pants fill the air as the two men interlock their bodies. There's a thick blanket of silence, after all, this clandestine meeting could get them killed. But instead of deterring the men, it just adds to the desperation.

"I missed you so much." It's a quiet whisper, in the serenity of the mid-dawn. Jongin pulls back to study his face with hooded eyes for a moment. 

"Me too. You have no idea." As if drawn by a magnetic force Jongin takes another half-step forward to bring their lips together once more, sucking at Sehun's bottom lip. In return, Sehun licks at his mouth as Jongin presses nearly his full weight onto him.

Sehun loses himself in the kiss, savoring the taste he’s missed so intensely, chest aching at Jongin’s touch. He groans from the back of his throat, and forces himself to break the kiss. 

"I-- I have something for you." He mumbles, a little breathlessly. "I know you like them, and there aren't any around." He says, handing over a bunch of freshly picked flower stalks.

He picked a bunch of them in the imperial gardens, next to the military quarters, tied together awkwardly with a piece of black cloth since he couldn't find something more presentable like a ribbon in his haste to sneak out. 

Jongin eyes them with a soft grin tugging at his lips. "Aren't you adorable, my prince?" He accepts the flowers, sniffing them briefly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm so sorry. I couldn't do anything to keep you with me. I'm so sorry, Jongin. I should have--"

"Shush. It wasn't your fault. We weren't careful," reasons Jongin, placing a finger over Sehun's stammering lips. Sehun takes his hand tenderly, intertwining their fingers. 

"I'm going to bring you back. I promise. I won't let anyone come between us."

However, Jongin's gaze brims with uncertainty, tints with a little dread. 

"It's not safe, Sehun. You being here right now, it's not safe. You shouldn't have come."

"Don't say that. I won't just give up on you. On us." Sehun cradles Jongin's face, trying to catch his spotless gaze. "I needed to see you. It's killing me not having you around."

"How did you find out I'm here?"

"Chanyeol did. He's outside right now. We're safe. Don't worry." 

Jongin hums thoughtfully, once again, his eyes dart around suspiciously as he worries at his bottom lip. Then he leans in again and kisses Sehun fervently, his tongue slipping in and licking inside Sehun's mouth. Caught off guard, he gasps into the kiss before letting himself melt in Jongin's arms. 

"If you fuck me right now, will he hear us?" Jongin whispers in his ear, and Sehun's legs give out under him. 

"No idea. I don't care. I've heard him fucking many people before. I guess he can handle this." His hands are already grabbing every inch of Jongin's body he can reach. 

"You know I can be loud."

"I want you to be." Sehun groans, groping Jongin's ass firmly over his tunic. "We don't have much time."

Hurriedly, they stumble inside the house, slamming the door shut behind them.

Their touches are needy, and the three layers of clothes on each men aren’t helping. Book and bouquet drop to the floor, as Jongin's hands occupy themselves with undressing Sehun.

Sehun hurries to rid his lover of the silky robes, which is a difficult maneuver since neither of them is willing to disconnect their lips. He drags his mouth to Jongin's neck, and although he wishes to mark the beautiful man as his, he refrains. Instead, his mouth roams over to broad shoulders and bites slightly, causing the other man to moan.

Sehun’s arms wrap around his waist as he leans right into him, tilting his head as Sehun presses wet kisses to his neck. His hands wander down Jongin’s stomach underneath the layers of his robes, one palming at his hip bone and the other skimming the exposed skin just barely above his cock. Reaching up, Jongin tugs at Sehun’s shoulder, and Sehun’s teeth graze against him. 

"I missed you. Your body. Your mouth. God, I couldn't stop thinking about you." Sehun groans into Jongin's ear, fingers tangling in Jongin's hair and tugging it until his bun gets untied and it falls free. Jongin's hair is even longer now, wild locks just sticking out, and it makes him look even more endearing.

Then he pulls back and steps to the side, taking Jongin by the hand and leading him along. In a few steps they’re at the wall and Sehun pulls Jongin so that Jongin’s back is to it and Sehun stands in front of him. Spurred on, Jongin’s arms slide right up Sehun’s chest, gripping tightly at the fabric.

Sehun meets Jongin’s gaze. this close, even in the dim light, Sehun can see every little detail in Jongin's eyes, and all the softness he stares at him with. 

Sehun brushes a few loose strands of hair away from Jongin’s face, his hand lightly cupping his face as it runs down. "I love you."

In response, Jongin pulls him close and kisses him on the mouth.

It’s just pressing their lips together more than anything else, but despite the chasteness of it Sehun moves his hands down to Jongin’s thighs, tugging his pants along until they're down to the curve of his ass. As soon as Jongin steps out of his pants entirely, Sehun lifts him up, Jongin already curling his legs around him. As Sehun steps forward, their cocks rub together as he presses so close that it’s more his hips holding Jongin against the wall than the support of his hands.

It’s enough, at least, that he’s able to take one hand away and quickly slip it into his pocket, taking out a small vial of lubricant. 

Sehun’s eyes glance to Jongin as he hurriedly opens it, expecting Jongin to say something, expecting him to be surprised, or suspicious. And maybe Jongin is a bit surprised, but more than that Jongin smirks at him, knowing well the reason why, who was the reason why he brought that along. "Came prepared, didn't you?"

He jolts as Sehun’s coated finger prods his entrance, tracing it in a small circle. Jongin’s legs tighten around him.

“Try to relax,” Sehun murmurs against his ear.

Jongin takes in a deep, shuddering breath.

Sehun’s finger enters him with ease, curling the deeper it goes. Again, Jongin writhes and every untouched part of Sehun feels like it’s on fire. Jongin pushes his hips down, forcing Sehun’s finger in down to the knuckle.

Breathing heavily against him, Sehun pulls his finger nearly entirely out and adding in another, pushing apart with both. When another one slides in past them, Jongin starts to tremble, and Sehun presses a kiss to the base of his neck. "You're so tight, love."

His fingers push in and Jongin tilts his head back, leaning his whole lower half into the motion, hips wriggling when he meets the end of Sehun’s fingers. Sehun pushes hard, rubbing his fingertips against Jongin’s insides, making him jerk forward, moan muffled against Sehun’s shoulder.

Sehun pulls his fingers out and pushes them back in again, and again, and each time Jongin shakes harder against him. On each back motion he stretches his lube-soaked fingers further apart, sliding and pushing easily against Jongin’s entrance.

Each time Sehun pushes in, sparks run up their bodies, and each time Jongin pants grow more desperate, his body aching for more. He raises his head, nipping at Sehun’s earlobe. "Pass me that oil, come on"

Hurriedly looking down, Jongin fumbles a hand into Sehun’s pants, shimming them down his thighs, taking out the lubricant from his hand. He coats his whole hand in it before reaching down and sliding his fingers along Sehun’s cock.

Sehun exhales with a tremble, body tensing as Jongin runs his thumb over the tip, and then relaxing as he starts to pump him with a slick ease.

“You’re so good at that,” Sehun breathes, “it feels so good just having you touching me.”

A shiver runs up Jongin’s body and he squeezes Sehun’s cock.

“You’re so good with your mouth,” Sehun continues, pushing his fingers hard up against the deepest part of Jongin he can reach. “And inside of you feels so good, every inch of you feels so good.”

Jongin moans, loud and high, his cock throbbing in pain and his muscles tightening around Sehun’s fingers, aching to be touched. “Sehun,” he manages, voice nearly cracking in between deep, hard breaths, “please.”

Sehun’s fingers leave him in a quick motion and Jongin whines as in agony, and his hips move on their own, rolling down onto nothingness. Hurriedly, Sehun brings both hands to where Jongin’s ass connects to his thighs, pushing him up. Jongin’s arms wrap around his shoulders as Sehun’s cock presses at his entrance.

“Jongin,” Sehun says, looking up at him, but it’s only for a split second as Jongin leans forward into his shoulder and pushes his hips down.

The tip of Sehun’s cock slides in easily enough, and Jongin pushes harder, moaning as Sehun stretches him. “Please,” Jongin says, reaching the limit of how far he could lower himself, “Sehun--”

Sehun pushes his hips, burying himself into Jongin and his high moan is nearly a scream, his whole body shaking as he presses flush into Sehun. Sehun fills him entirely, nearly too much, the feeling bordering on outright pain. But more than that he touches every part of him, the tip of his cock pressed deep inside of him.

Jongin lets out a deep, shaky exhale, warmth rushing through his whole body.

Sehun pulls his hips back until just his tip is left and then pushes back in with a moan.

Jongin's tears start to prick at the corner of his eyes, despite the discomfort ebbing with each second. Again, Sehun pulls out and pushes in, and Jongin starts to feel weightless.

“You feel amazing,” Sehun says, moving quicker this time, thrusting back in with more force. “You’re so good.” The wooden door creaks with movement behind Jongin's back. 

Jongin’s insides coil and he whimpers, bucking his hips forward. His cock brushes against Sehun’s stomach and Sehun brings a hand up to curl around it.

He pumps him in time with his thrusts, slick noises accompanying the moans that punctuate each movement. After less than a minute their rhythm is lost, turning to more sporadic, uneven motions.

“I won’t last long,” Sehun says, voice strained. His knees shake and he leans forward until Jongin is pressed back against the wall. “You’re too good, you’re so tight.”

Jongin shivers and tenses, tightening around Sehun and drawing out a loud moan from him. He buries his head into Sehun’s shoulder, letting out a muffled, pleading noise.

Sehun thrusts with fervency, his strokes on Jongin’s cock sloppy and the kiss he presses to his jaw even sloppier. His grip on Jongin’s hip tightens, fingers digging into his skin hard enough that bruises will form. Every time Sehun pushes in, his cock slides further, but still leaves him aching for more.

“C-close,” Jongin says, voice cracking as Sehun all but slams his hips into him, a numbness creeping through his body outside of the jolts of pleasure, heightening them each time.

Sehun leans closer, pressing their chests together and he manages to coherently wonder, if only for a moment, if Jongin can feel Jongin’s heart pounding against his chest.

“Come on, love” Sehun breathes against Jongin's ear, “I want to feel how tight you get when you come, you’re so good, Nini.”

Every sound turns to white noise and every part of Jongin’s body becomes weightless as searing waves of hot pleasure course through his body. He bites down on Sehun’s shoulder to quiet his drawn out cry, his cum spilling between them as Sehun’s hand pumps him jerkily through the orgasm.

Distantly, Sehun moans loudly and then, his cum hits hot inside Jongin as it fills him deeply, sending prickling jolts up his overwrought nerves.

Sehun takes a deep, shuddering breath, realizing only then that is lungs are burning. Jongin's whole body loosens and becomes dead weight against Sehun, his head buried in the crook of his neck.

Against him, Sehun’s breaths are hard and deep, his body hot. Sehun can feel his heart against his chest, almost louder than Jongin’s own.

Sehun’s hips start to tremble, and Jongin uses every ounce of strength in his body to unhook his legs from around him, lowering them to the ground as Sehun pulls out. Legs feeling like jelly, Jongin nearly stumbles forward, and Sehun holds him around the waist.

They stay like that for a moment as their breaths even out, and their heartbeats quiet, bringing apparent calmness to the silence around them.

Eventually, Sehun brings a hand to Jongin’s face, pulling back a bit himself to meet his gaze. He runs a thumb over his cheek, and Jongin just stares back, his mind blank.

But he finds Jongin sliding his arms around him and leaning forward, their lips brushing as they close their eyes.

"I'll come back tomorrow night. And the night after that too. I'll come every night." He promises, planting a kiss against Jongin's temple.

"Will we have to live like this now? Quick escapes during the night?"

Sehun gazes listlessly at his lover, his astonishing brown eyes, dark but shiny like the stars. Sehun takes his strong hand in his, and only after a very long time does Sehun speak. "Not for long. I promise you. I'll figure something out." 

Jongin nods, though his eyes are still unconvinced. This is what they have for now, and this is what they must hold on to. They either risk their lives or never see each other again. Jongin seems to cave in as he swallows and says. 

"Just… be safe, okay? No matter what."

"Okay." Sehun grins, kisses him again, never wanting to let go. "See you tomorrow?"

"I'll be waiting."

Sehun cradles Jongin's jaw gently, their eyes locking. tender, transient. truthful. A finger traces coppery skin bronzed from training and laboring under the hot sun. "I love you."

"Love you more." Jongin responds, and this time when he smiles, it seems genuine. This time, when Sehun kisses him, they let their fear seep away. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


By the time winter arrives at their doorstep with the first snow, Sehun's visits have become frequent. Sneaking out at night is part of his routine, and there isn't one night that Sehun doesn't kiss Jongin goodnight. 

With that, Sehun's mood change is also apparent. He smiles cheerily at his servants. He participates in every council meeting with government officials, and though he doesn't really pay much attention, he replies merrily, eyes bursting with joy. He's no longer absent from any of his daily practices. Proven more than effective to be out in the battlefield, Sehun earns himself admiration from his father, and gradually gossip dies down. Servants are back to bowing at the crown prince in the palace's aisles, every section now always eager to see his rosy cheeks and crescent-moon smile. 

It's a clear indication that Jongin is a factor to Sehun's effervescence. Call it codependence, and Sehun would beg to differ. Jongin's his anchor. The one who's remedied him emotionally and physically. 

Sparring with his brother is Sehun's second favorite activity of the day. Yeonseok has a reputation of being one of the most skilled swordsmen in the kingdom, and he trains Sehun unrestrictedly. The sound of metal clashing echoes through the courtyard, and Sehun's sword skates away, blade clattering against the ground. 

"You're too distracted today." Yeonseok offers him his sword back, gloved hands wrapped around its decorated hilt. 

"Are you thinking about your boyfriend?" He adds, as casual as ever, and Sehun freezes. 

Seemingly not holding anything against his little brother, Yeonseok grins, eyes soft as usual. 

"What? What do you--" He stammers, feeling a cold trail of sweat running down the sides of his face.

"I know. I've always known. And I'm really sorry mother is against it. I've noticed the way you looked at him even when you were just a kid, running after him around this palace."

Yeonsoek chuckles, as tough recalling bittersweet, carefree days. Then he jerks his head towards Sehun's sword, motioning to keep the battle going. Straightening up, Sehun wields his blade properly, hilt leveled at his chin. 

"Couldn't she just, you know, do the same thing she did for you? I really thought she cared about her son's well being more than anything."

Yeonseok scoffs, swirling his sword expertly against Sehun's. He manages to stall his brother’s strike, but watches a wretched, stained grin split his lips as his blade shivers under the brutality of his compelling strength.

"You clearly don't know our mother." He croons, pressing closer to Sehun's face. 

He's well familiar with the Queen's infamous tempers. Nothing like the harshness of their father, nor the pleas of their enemies, the desperate supplications of the strongest-willed servant. Once his mother flies into a rage, she shrieks and bellows like a tempest and leaves similar destruction in her wake. Sehun's heard tales about it, but as her son, he considered himself immune to her punishments. Obviously, he's been mistaken. 

"Well, it's very clear you're her favorite son."

Yeonseok hums, swinging wildly again. For a second, Sehun staggers and the strike has their blades bound again. 

"You're wrong. That's not me. It has never been me." He says throatily. "She let me renounce and marry my wife simply because she never thought I could be capable of being a king. She's always wanted this title to be yours. Me falling for my wife at that time was just convenient for her to get rid of me."

"How could you be so unlucky?" Sehus says sarcastically. He wished he could also get rid of the title and marry the love of his life, but the universe isn't that generous. 

Circling away from his brother, Sehun keeps his sword in motion and continually changes his guard and stance. Yeonseok finally lets his sword drop. 

"Well, I'm not complaining. But you should know that I do care about you. And carrying this burden isn't easy."

"Tell me about it." Grunts Sehun, wiping the sweaty sheen accumulated after intense sparring. Yeonseok drifts closer, putting a hand on Sehun's shoulder. When he speaks, there's caution dancing in his eyes. 

"Listen to me Sehun. Mom knows. She knows you've been seeing him. She knows where he’s hiding. She knows everything."

Sehun freezes,dread rushing down his spine. He stares at his brother with his brows furrowed, taken aback. 

"She has eyes and ears everywhere. She's always one step ahead. And she isn't pleased." Yeonseok continues, hand squeezing slightly on Sehun's shoulder. 

The blade flashes in the sunlight as Sehun brings it over his head and hums a low, swift tune when it comes down to rest its point against the cement of the field grounds.

"Is Jongin in danger?" Sehun questions, keeping his unease at bay. There are servants around who catch glimpses of them periodically, and they might’ve been one of his mother's _birds_. 

"Soon, he will be. Mom has been plotting something. She's enraged, and she won't rest until she makes sure Jongin is gone."

"What's her plan? What should I do?"

"I'm not sure about her plans. But you should stop seeing Jongin. Change your strategy, make her believe you're behaving."

As a Noble Consort, Yeonseok is just a step below the king. He's aware of any forthcoming danger that potentially compromises the palace even before the Queen. This is a warning that shouldn't be disregarded. Sehun keeps mum, his frown deepening. 

"If you really care about Jongin, let him go. Or else you'll lose him forever." Yeonseok advises, and Sehun sighs, puzzled. 

He would gladly trade his golden years for his people, his subjects and the people he loves. He's willing to leave that behind for Jongin as well. Especially for Jongin. 

"Uncle Sehun! Let me play with you!" His nephew calls interrupting his train of thought, small, chubby legs waddling across the field towards him. Sehun steps aside from his brother, clearing his throat wistfully. 

"Hey little guy!" Sehun does his best to fake a smile to his nephew, bringing him into his arms. "You think you can beat me, uh?"

"Of course I can, like dad does all the time."

"What can I do when your father is the best swordsman in the kingdom?" Sehun cooes at him, pinching his soft little cheeks. 

"When I grow up, I'll be just like him." The baby beams, giggling as Sehun clutches him against his chest.

"You need to be better than him, kid."

"Ya, Sehun-ah!" Comes Jisung’s distressed call. Sehun settles his nephew down on the floor and ruffles his hair before sauntering towards his younger brother. Jisung has his arms crossed and a very stern looking scowl to his young features. 

"I'm your hyung." Sehun corrects him once they're face to face. What even have they been feeding this boy for him to be so tall? Sehun thinks as he squints at his ill-tempered brother. 

"Alright, hyungnim." Jisung rolls his eyes before tugging Sehun away by the sleeve. "I have to show you something."

"Come on!" Jisung urges him, and Sehun allows himself to be dragged away. He supposes he can be a brotherly figure one last time before chaos ensues.

"What is it, Jisung?" He questions once they set foot in the subsidiary pavilion by the lake, connected to the Palace's Halls by a walkway. Sehun could easily mistake this for a peaceful walk around the lake, like they used to do in the past, if only Jisung's stomps weren't so hasty. 

At the corner, Sehun spots a servant. Skinny, small, shying away from them. The pavilion isn't, by any means for a servant to walk free in, but Sehun isn't surprised to see one particular boy standing with bare, dirty feet on clean, marbled floors. 

"You remember him, don't you?" Jisung asks, cornering the servant up on the wall. "Hurry up, peasant. Tell him what you did." Jisung shoves him toward Sehun, and the boy's tears break out once again.

Sehun draws back from him, not in repugnance, but because of the unpleasant memories that flood back in from the last time he saw the boy's tears. 

"I'm so sorry. I spied on you. The Queen forced me. She told me to report anything to cast Jongin-ssi out of the palace. I was not the only one. I did because she promised me my mom's medicine. She's sick. She's dying. I'm so sorry, my prince." The servant admits, head bowing down until his forehead meets the cold, ivory floor by Sehun's feet. 

"That's right. Kneel before your prince." Jisung taunts, and Sehun shoots a glare towards him in disdain. 

"No, there's no need for that." He reaches down, noble hands touching humble skin. "Come on, stand up, kid."

"Will you punish me, your majesty?" The boy hiccups, tripping over his own feet. He can't find balance to stand on his own, as though Sehun's touch has broken him. 

"No, I won't."

"What?!" Jisung squeaks, indignant hands flailing at his sides. 

"You can go. It's too late to fix anything anyway. But you should know that you should never out anyone like you did. It's wrong. If you need your mother's medicine you come to me first, instead of committing crimes." Sehun reprimands, hand lifting in attempt to touch the boy once again, but he flinches away instinctively.

"Thank you, your grace! Thank you so much."

"Now go." Sehun ushers him towards the exit, and once again he watches the servant dashing off. As a prince, he's supposed to command and punish, but as a person, he tries to look past flaws and be genuine in his kindness. Even if deep down he doubts himself a little. 

He feels a huge weight lift from his chest with the boy, for he doesn't have any reasons to despise the kid anymore. 

Baffled, Jisung whirls around, eyes ablaze, lips curled down. "You're such a dumbass! My God!" He hisses through his teeth. "I was trying to help you. If that moron confessed his crime to dad, he could at least consider bringing Jongin hyung back."

His jovial eyes become crestfallen. Jisung was practically raised under Jongin's wing. When his mother wasn't there to catch him when he needed on many occasions, he found solace in Jongin. He's learned most his principles from him too. If he misses Jongin to the point of acting impetuously, Sehun isn't blaming him. 

"I miss him too. It's unfair what they did to him." Jisung mutters, swallowing down the knot that lodged itself in his throat. 

"I know, Jisung. But at this point, I don't think bringing him back would be any safer for him. I don't want him here anymore. Besides, I don't think dad has any power over mom's anymore." Sehun wraps an arm around Jisung's shoulders, just like Yeonseok did to him just a few minutes ago, like a chain sustaining the other. 

"Out there isn't safe either. We must do something, hyung. Mom already knows." Jisung alerts him, pushing down his tears. Sehun nods, mirroring the same squeeze he received from Yeonseok on Jisung. 

"Don't worry. I'll figure something out." He promises, even before proving himself capable of it. He has no choice. He's the only one to bear that responsibility, and he won't give up on it. 

The warmth in the breeze that sweeps contradicts the chill that takes over Sehun's heart.

Jisung takes a breath, seems to ease up on the matter, courtesy of Sehun's comforting touch. Even so, he grips firmly at Sehun's sleeves, looks him right in his eyes, and says. 

"Then hurry up, because we're running out of time."


	4. Chapter 4

  
His lips brush Jongin's. Not at all teasing but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. Not what he intended when he first got to Jongin's place, but now that Jongin is in arms, it's too late. He wants to pull away before he loses himself, yet he can’t seem to be able to do it. 

In that moment, his senses have been seduced and he could no longer think straight. “Jongin” he whispers slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. 

His hand rests below Jongin's ear, his thumb caressing his cheek as their breaths mingle.

He presses his tongue to the seam of Jongin's lips and delve it inside his mouth. 

Jongin inhales sharply. He's against Sehun's warm chest, chiseled to perfection and radiating warmth that spreads throughout their entire bodies.

"Wait, Sehun. Hold on." Jongin is the one who pulls apart, taking shaky, shallow breaths. "Why are you so tense? What's wrong?"

The eye contact Sehun struggles to avoid, breaks the moment Jongin brushes a stray strand of his hair to tuck it behind Jongin's ear. 

"I need to tell you something." Sehun mutters, resting his forehead against Jongin. 

"What is it? Tell me." Jongin says, placing his own warm hands atop Sehun’s smooth and pale ones. Sehun holds his breath, peering at Jongin over the interjection.

"We should stop seeing each other." His voice wavers. "Just for a while."

Immediately, Jongin steers away, confusedly glancing at Sehun. "Why?"

"It's… Just until I find somewhere safer for us. My mother… She's suspicious about us. I want to keep you safe." He tries reaching out, but Jongin gently pushes his hands away.

"Sehun, I-- I don't want to be apart from you. I want to protect you too." his voice is so small, surrendered. This isn't what he promised Jongin, and he hates himself for not keeping his word. 

"We'll be together again soon. I'll always come back to you. I just need to throw her off for a while."

"How long will we keep doing this? How long will she keep coming after me?" Jongin's tone raises, he seems to notice it as well, so this time, when Sehun draws near, Jongin lets him. 

"Jongin--"

"Isn't it better if I just let you go already?" He cuts Sehun off, dejectedly. "I'm only holding you back. You're giving up too much for me."

Sehun uses his long sleeves, aided with the back of his hand, to carefully dab away at the tears rolling down Jongin's beautiful face. And he shakes his head over and over, because no, no matter what, he'll never leave Jongin. Or else, he'll lose himself.

"No, stop saying that. Jongin, breaking up with you is not an option here. I can't live without you. Don't think that me leaving means I love you less, know that it means I love you more."

No words are spoken but a story worthy of them is communicated. Soft, tender lips press against Sehun's. They might not have a plan, they might be running against the clock, but through that searing kiss, Sehun assures him that against all odds, they will never part.

Chanyeol bursts through the door. He's limping, slumped against the doorframe while blood leaks down his arm. "We're under attack!" He announces, wincing as he swirls around to shut the door. 

"Watch out!" Jongin shouts as an arrow flies past Sehun, barely steering away, scratching his arm. The stick pierces the wall, stays stuck there, quivering. 

The three of them huddle up and hide behind the marble side table, though it's not large enough to shield all of them. Footsteps approach the house from the outside.

"How many?" Sehun questions, barely above a whisper. The door strains against a bang. 

"Too many to count. We're surrounded." Chanyeol replies, handing Sehun his bow and his arrow tube. Meanwhile, Jongin reaches up to detach his sword hung on the wall. His attentive eyes are drifting from one side to anoother, sensing, tracking. 

"We can take them. Together." He says, crouching low and gripping tight at the sword hilt. Its blade doesn't seem to be sharpened enough as it rests upon Jongin's thigh without cutting him through his vestment. 

The men circle the house, and Sehun reaches behind himself to extract a couple of arrows from the tube. "We need to split up." He says, fitting an arrow against the bowstring. 

"No!" Jongin dismisses, unhesitatingly. 

"He's right. It'll mislead them. We can meet up back at the palace. They won't suspect us getting back there." Chanyeol reasons. He's sweating, his arm hanging loosely at his side. Broken. Still, he's standing his ground. 

There's a cry of pain and sadness wrangled from deep inside Sehun’s throat, as he holds Jongin tight in his embrace, with his weapon free arm. Jongin's cold and chapped lips close enough to whisper into his ear. "Be careful. Please."

"I promise I'll find you, okay?"

He breathes now, terror in his lungs as he finally releases Jongin from his hold.

"Yeah, you'll always come back to me." Jongin flashes a brief grin of encouragement, and then the door flings open with a loud thud. 

The huntsmen swarm forward with confidence. Many of them, carrying their weapons. Swords, daggers, spears. Sehun doesn't have time to sort all of them out. They're massively outnumbered anyway.

Clearly, they don't want Sehun, they want Jongin, and they expect easy pickings, that Sehun will give him up without a fight. They're utterly wrong. 

Sehun's mind races for a way out. He sees Jongin drawing his sword as the assaulters encircle them.

Sehun pushes all his weight to his bent knees, hauls himself forward and sprints off, jumping over the window. He hears the clattering of blades and all the noise that possibly breaks through in a battle. 

They flee from the attackers, scattering into the iced night, one to a different direction, dispersing through the woods. There's a scuffling noise behind him, and Sehun twists around sharply and fires. The arrow hits his intended target, and the Queen’s huntsman falls from his horse in a heap. Sehun grins without pleasure. In a risky move, he hops on the agitated, screeching horse, tames it easily, turns back around and spurs his horse forward, sloshing through the deep snow towards the plum trees.

Sehun halts his horse. Stares. The bow on his back feels heavier than stone and he calculates the speed of the wind, the length of his arrows, the distance between him and his friends.

The huntsmen are immobile, but they're lurking somewhere behind the trees, Sehun can feel them. The horse seems to be well-trained, knowing better than to fidget when its master is armed.

He raises his bow, unsheathes three arrows, one after another, and fires in the direction of the three shadows as the targets fall to their deaths. He frowns when he reaches back to count his arrows and there are only two left.

A scream cuts through the night, painful and strangled. It's Jongin. Sehun wipes the sweat from his forehead, exhausted, panicking. 

Out of the corner of his eye he sees something sharp and long coming towards him. He tries to jump out of the way but it's too late. He screams, giving away his position but the pain is unbearable. 

Sehun falls back, collapsing on the cold ground, above crunched leaves, his head colliding against a stone. A twinge of pain courses through his head, his body starts to feel numb, his vision blackens out. 

Allowing himself to take deep breaths, blood still oozing out from a gash, Sehun drifts away, mumbling Jongin's name.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Sehun's eyes flutter open, his whole body feels heavy, making it hard to move. A little disoriented, he squints up at the several worried and shocked faces staring down at him in disbelief. 

Outside, rolls of thunder sound loudly, ominous large grey clouds water onto the lands beneath.

Of one thing he's certain. He's alive. And he's back home. Everything else lies in a box of sheer emptiness and darkness. 

"Your Majesty has awakened. Call the Queen!" There's a commotion in the room and Sehun's head aches. He grunts. 

A servant girl patches him up. Gauze pastes strong-smelling medicine against his cuts, which sting, seeping red into the herbal salves. Chanyeol's in the room too, but he stands rooted in place, just staring. 

"This is a miracle."

"The gods have heard our prayings."

Shocked voices keep fluttering behind him and he snaps around to glare at the others, who go stock-still under his frigid gaze. Having slept for hours, every movement comes with the cost of pain and nausea. 

"Leave," Sehun commands, his usual calm demeanor stripped away.

Even speaking seems impossible. His throat is dry and sore. He clears it, painfully. "Everyone. Leave now!" He manages to shout despite the soreness. All the maids and nurses immediately leave. Except Chanyeol. That rule never applies to him.

"You're alive." Chanyeol's peering at his bed with something akin to awe. And before Sehun manages a smile, he notices Chanyeol's uninjured, which is relieving, his hair is longer now, but he's not exactly how Sehun remembers seeing him the last time. 

Sehun frowns, knuckles clutching at the sheets. His joints all seem to be frozen, and they crack as Sehun forces them to move. 

"You won't get rid of me that easily." He responds with a crack to his voice, face void of emotion despite being happy to wake up. 

Combing a hand through the long hair by his shoulders that was not tied up into a bun, Sehun tries pushing himself to a sitting position. He fails horribly, his legs are numb, his body unable to withstand it

"You shouldn't move. Your condition is still critical." Chanyeol kneels by the edge of the mattress and braces an arm around his lower back to help him sit up comfortably against the satin wrapped pillows. He brings a glass filled with the water to the prince's lips as well, and he sips it briefly, impatiently before pushing the glass away.

"That much I've noticed. What happened?" 

What does he remember, anyway? How did he end up in his bed, at his palace? What are his last remaining memories? 

He remembers a kiss. A promise. A battle. Huntsmen. Arrows flying. Blood. Chanyeol's broken arm. Jongin's scream. 

_Jongin_.

"Where is Jongin?" He questions and the numbness in his body crawls around his heart as well. 

"I believe you should rest for now." Chanyeol says, averting his eyes. He's clearly avoiding that conversation. 

"I'm resting. What about Jongin?" Sehun insists. Chanyeol keeps silent, and his brows crease. "Chanyeol, where is Jongin?" Sehun repeats, a hush of fear thrills down his spine.

"We shouldn't be having this conversation right now. You've just woken up." Chanyeol doesn't budge, keeps adjusting the pillows behind Sehun's back, his eyes never really focusing.

"I want to have this conversation right now. Tell me if Jongin's alright. That's an order." Sehun commands, taking advantage of his title for once. For Jongin. Chanyeol stills, when he lifts his gaze, his eyes are watering. 

Chanyeol swallows. "Jongin's gone."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"What do you mean, gone where?" Sehun's lower lip quivers. The grimace that forms on his face is one of dread and sorrow, but most of all, denial. 

"He's gone. We couldn't find him after the attack. I'm sorry. He's most likely dead." Chanyeol laments, gaze lowered to the rumpled satin sheets around Sehun's curled fingers. 

"No, he isn't. He's not dead." Sehun mutters, gloomy and dull. 

"He's disappeared, Sehun. He's nowhere. He's gone." After clearing his throat Chanyeol repeats, as though he can't accept it yet either. 

"So keep searching for him. Search until you find him." 

"It's been too long. The Queen has ordered to suspend the search."

Sehun scoffs through the tears stinging the corners of his eyes. "How long has it been?"

"Almost two months." Chanyeol chances a look at him, both of them carrying hope in their eyes despite the circumstances. "We were not sure you would wake up again either."

There's nothing that fills Sehun up on the inside, just a dreadful emptiness.

Yet somehow, he can hear his own moving heart beat again. And that much is indication that he must keep trying. Deep in his core, he feels Jongin's heart beating along his own. 

"I'm awake now. And I'll search for him. Myself."

"You can't. The Queen won't ever allow that." Chanyeol urges. "Look at you, you can barely stand."

"I don't care. Jongin isn't dead. He's out there waiting for me." He protests, and the more he speaks, the more he convinces himself it’s true. 

"What if he isn't? What if he's really-"

"He's not." Sehun cuts off miserably. "I know that. I'll find him." The words leave his lips in an annoyed grunt. A wave of quietness crashes into him, probably due to the weakness of his wasted body. Letting the numbness seep out, he rests his head on the wall and sighs. After a mournful moment, he speaks again. 

"I know where he is. Will you come with me?"

"I will, of course." Chanyeol's eyes widen suddenly, but he seems to agree more out of compassion.

The sound of feet padding across the wooden floor fills the room. His mother comes through the door followed by a group of nurses and surgeons. Long,red robes trailing elegantly behind her. She pushes Chanyeol out of the way, takes his seat as her bewildered eyes bore into Sehun's.

"My son. You're alive. I never doubted you'd return to us." She cups his face and kisses his cheeks while relieved tears roll down her bare cheeks. "You're the strongest man I know. I'm so glad you're back. My future King."

Her agony sounds genuine, so Sehun lets her embrace him. He just sits there, closes his eyes and receives her pampering, the cold of her skin cooling the sweat on his nape while everyone else in the room watches. 

Eventually, Sehun lifts his hands to hers, peeling them from his neck, eliciting a shocked cry from the Queen.

"Do you recognize me, my son?" She looks shaken up as she checks his immobile state. "Doctors, is his brain okay? Does he have any after-effects."

"You're the Queen. My mother." Sehun chides, cold eyes lifting towards her. "You're also the reason why I'm like this. Here, in this bed."

And there it is. The expression he's so used to seeing in his mother's eyes. Severe, strict. Anything but warm.

"What are you talking about?"

"Your own son. You set up an ambush on your own son. I remember everything, mother. I remember him."

"Doctor, check up on him." She orders, scandalized. One of the doctors steps up, grabbing Sehun's wrists. Once again, Sehun allows himself to be touched, though his eyes never leave his mother's icy stare. He wants her to know that Sehun isn't delirious, just so he can defy her like she deserves. 

"He's probably delirious. He's just woken up, after all." The doctor states, contradicting what Sehun expected to hear. Of course they're just some of her puppets, tricked into diagnosing him with whatever the Queen requisites. 

"You have no idea what I've been going through while you were lying on this bed. I prayed for you every night. I cried incessantly for you." A warm evening breeze accompanies her shrill cries, and Sehun snatches his wrist away from the doctor. 

With a wry twist to his mouth, he acquiesces. 

"I bet you prayed for me to lose my memories too. But they are all in here." He gestures to his head, his usually collected, steady voice had now mellowed into one shrouded by anger and revulsion.

"You are not on your right mind right now, Oh Sehun. Let's hope your misbehavior is due to a concussion and that, it will soon be gone."

Sehun suppresses a chill and gives her a steady look. He says with hard, brittle eyes.

"I'm going to find him. You might break us apart one hundred times, but I'll find him one hundred and one times."

The Queen pauses. Slowly her superior smirk makes its way to her lips. When she speaks, her voice is soft, but the malicious intent behind it rings clear.

"If you want to go, then go. Might as well just bring me his corpse"


	5. Chapter 5

_When the plum trees’ leaves had fallen, and autumn had brought about the full moon and sweetcakes, Jongin had carried with him a smile, perpetually plastered onto his face. It was his favorite season of the year, for the weather was mild, and color still tinged the flowers and the trees._

_"A little cottage in the village. With a garden, of course. Three dogs. A flower shop. Or a clothing shop. Or both."_

_Sehun raised a brow, and Jongin cackled._

_"Is that all?" Sehun questioned, stupefied at Jongin's simplicity when he could possess just about anything he desired._

_"No. There's you too. You're the most important." Jongin mumbled, displaying one of his dimples._

_A soft smile bloomed on the prince's face, glowing with understanding and happiness._

_The spaces between Jongin's fingers fit just right in between Sehun's as they strolled down the stone paved courtyard. The two-tiered platform was lined with detailed balustrades and decorated with numerous sculptures depicting dragons and phoenixes._

_"That’s all you want?" Sehun inquired, and there was a collective sigh of contentment, bliss in simplicity._

_"Yeah," Jongin breathed, smiling fondly._

_"I'll give it all to you, then."_

_Sehun promised, like poetry in motion, just for Jongin's indulgence. Unexpectedly, Jongin scowled, halting his steps abruptly._

_"No. I have to achieve it myself. The same way I got your heart, mr prince." He winked, always so seductive._

_Sehun grinned connivingly, but his cheeks were flushed red, easily embarrassed._

_"Okay. You can scratch me off your wish list then."_

_"And the village. I already know where that is." Jongin chirped, kicking off some stones on their pathway. Sehun's eyes sparkled in delight._

_"You do?"_

_"The little village I was born in. It's small and peaceful. It's actually not too far from here. If you follow the path down the river, you can find it downwards the hills." He pointed in the direction of the sun, but Sehun knew he meant to indicate the river that flooded right behind the palace's outskirts._

_Sehun leaned in to lay his head on the strong advisors’s shoulder, arms draped around his waist and patting his back. He basked in that tenderness for a moment before speaking again. "Would you like to go back there?"_

_"Of course. When I'm fat and old. Actually, I only left because I had no family and I needed to make money at twelve-years-old somehow." Jongin giggled, and Sehun seriously questioned how he could find amusement in such deprivations._

_Sehun would never comprehend how Jongin was always so carefree, hardly swayed by the misfortunes of life. Sehun admired him strongly for that._

_"I'd like to go there someday."_

_"I'd like to take you there someday. And maybe live the rest of our lives there. Together." Jongin's doe eyes peered at him, like he's looking at something that will never be his. Sehun enjoyed that thought as well, of spending the rest of their lives together, away from the palace, away from cruel expectations._

_Sehun peered at him, trying to convey in his gaze that it wouldn't be so impossible. They were allowed to dream, at least._

_The silence that set just like the sun above them was warm and comfortable. The words that tumbled out of Jongin's lips next left Sehun completely touched._

_"Home is where I'm with you."_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Sehun reigns in his horse as he scans the village from a hill. It's been three days since he left the palace, left the walls that caged him his entire life as a prince. Although his condition is still fragile, he departed from the palace taking with him only his horse and his best friend, supposing he needed little else. 

"Are you sure he's there?" Chanyeol questions warily, and Sehun's reply is as assured as the golden rays of the sun falling upon them. 

"I am."

Chanyeol eyes him suspiciously, but doesn't debate. "There seem to be lots of habitants. Are we just going to search for him blindly?"

"I guess so."

"Okay. You wait for me here. I'll go pick up a disguise for you. You can't wander around revealing your face like that." Chanyeol suggests, propelling his horse forward to power over the land. 

After convincing Sehun to don a veiled hat and a less sophisticated garb so that monks and farmers alike wouldn’t fall to their knees upon the sight of his royal beauty, Chanyeol tides him over, the fine-woven veils draped over his face so that only the black of his hair is visible.

Dead leaves litter the ground and crunch underfoot as they trek down the steep hills, horses left behind to be fetched later. Soon enough, they're stepping into the village. 

It’s crowded there, contrary to the peaceful image Sehun had pictured. The roads passing through are surrounded by wide plantations, the ground is naked land, dusty and hot enough that the heat seeps into their sandals. 

The crowd, full of peasants and merchants bring costumes as colourful as a summer garden. Bold yellows, magenta, cyan,emerald green. 

Wherever they look there are painted faces and masks, The stilt walkers marching down the middle of the crowd blowing bubbles or waving. The music is the heartbeat of the crowd as they sway long limbs in time to the beat. 

Food sellers weave through the mass of onlookers and the aroma of their wares perfume the air. 

Some pretty girls approach them, dressed in silks and chiffon, trying to get handsy and earn their interest. While they are pretty, they reject them kindly, blushing slightly and walking briskly ahead.

It's a festival of some sort, Sehun assumes. One different from the festivals held for his family. There is no obligation to please the Queen here, the only purpose is self enjoyment, something Sehun realizes right then he's never gotten the chance to do.It is always expected of him to sit and watch and _pretend_. 

In the heart of the market square stands a large wooden, strong built platform. The band currently performing on it attracts most of the passengers and occupants of the village with a vibrant, upbeat presentation.

The man dancing in the center immediately draws Sehun's attention, a mask of ornate gold leather over his eyes with a fire design and a small hook nose. Instantly, Sehun is hypnotized by his movements and graciousness whirling to drums and flutes. Clad in a deep, carmine-red gossamer silk and a translucent crimson jeogori that accentuates his lithe figure.

Moved by a force that overrides his own logic, Sehun makes his way to the barricade as the dancer draws near in rhythmic movements, clutching a pair of colorful fans, one in each hand, embodying the fluidity of the traditional music. 

With the music he casts a sense of unease upon the audience, a precursor to the fast movements to come. From up there he looks like he's floating more than anything, like he twirls without effort. Mystified, Sehun's jaw drops as he loses himself in the dancer's spell.

Upon eye contact with the dancer, Sehun gets a glimpse of eyes warm like honey, something beguiling in his gaze and mesmerising in the way he moves. Graceful yet cold, precise, with a powerful aura masqued beneath. 

He recognizes those starburst eyes under the mask right away.

The performer freezes, body going rigid unlike the music, and Sehun's breath hitches in his throat. Negligent to the mass of people around him, Sehun removes his gat, stares intently at the man he's so sure is the one he's been looking for. 

Before the music ceases completely, the dancer lets the fans drop to the floor, and he flees. 

Even as his heart flutters in his throat, Sehun follows him behind the stage, leaving behind gasps and boos, and the other performers in a clueless state.

His feet slip outwards on the wet autumn leaves as he rounds a corner, the cold evening air shocking his throat and lungs as he inhales deeper, faster. With each footfall a jarring pain shoots from his ankle to knee. Jongin's fast, too fast for Sehun's condition, unable to outrun him. 

But this is his body and brain in full survival mode and although it is nothing but pain, Sehun keeps running, pushing against random people, stumbling over his own feet. Everything that passes him is a blur and he only sees Jongin, further and further away from him. 

His breath comes in small spurts, hot and nervous. At his sides, his fingers curl into sweaty fists, swinging forward as if it can make him faster. 

"Please, stop." he cries aloud, throwing himself forward with even greater abandon. His lungs and heart are pumping, but the air doesn't seem to be enough as he sprints forward, panic poisoning his exhausted limbs. 

Over the bridge above the lake, Sehun's legs stop functioning entirely, and he falls to his knees, hands trying to grip at the railings but missing them by an inch. His palms hit flat on the ground and he sobs, seeing a drop of his own tears landing on his knuckles.

"Please, I don't want to lose you again." He whimpers, breathlessly. His whole body is shaking. "Not again."

Out of the corner of his eyes, Sehun sees him kneeling in front of him slowly, carefully, scared. For a while, neither of them move, and Sehun can't quite comprehend if he's lost all his senses already, or if he’s been wrong. 

Sehun brings a trembling hand to the man's face, taking off his mask and letting it fall to the floor. He reaches closer to Jongin, who in turn, takes a step back. 

"You're alive." Jongin’s breaths come in short and shallow,so threateningly close that it leaves no room for doubt. Jongin's alive. 

"Jongin…" Sehun breathes, and Jongin doesn't flinch back from his touch this time, his silks are cool where Sehun grabs onto him, inexplicably terrified that he might leave.

Sehun weakly stretches out a pale hand to wipe away his tears, forgets his own, caress his face. There's a nostalgic, fulfilled tug at the corners of his mouth as he feels Jongin's solidness, his scent, his breathing. 

"Sehun?" Jongin is staring at him, with a million words lodged in his throat, but incapable of uttering any. He's used to seeing Sehun be reckless, often dangerously so, but this is something else. 

Dirt stains the hem of his robes, his large eyes overbright. It feels like a million years pass by, only being disrupted when a sudden weight impacts with Sehun's back, and he falls to his hands and knees while a female voice shrieks into his ears.

"Leave him alone! He's not the one you're looking for. Go away!"

Although Sehun can barely register the blows she's inflicting on him, air gets knocked out of his lungs. Confused, Sehun tries blocking the blows, but they've clung into his back with dear life.

"Back off, lady." Comes Chanyeol's deep voice, and suddenly the onslaught is withdrawn from him. Sehun groans, sitting back on his haunches weakly. 

"Ya, let me go! Put me down!" Demands the young woman in Chanyeol's dominance to hold her fit of rage back. She's of a petite type, which makes Sehun doubt her capacity to strike him. 

"She's my friend." Jongin says, grinning as he helps Sehun back to a standing position. 

With a wave of dismissal from Sehun, Chanyeol settles the girl down on the ground as she glares and grunts at him. She looks tiny and weightless in the guard's control. 

"Well, looks like we found him." Chanyeol notes, stepping aside from the hot-tempered girl. 

"Sehun. I knew you were alive. I knew you would find me." Jongin beams, throwing his arms around Sehun's frame. He's gotten severely skinny lately, making him feel small against Jongin's muscles despite their almost similar heights. 

"I'm sorry it took me so long." He mutters, resting his forehead against Jongin's temple, breathing him in. It feels so good having him back, being in his arms, enveloped by his warmth. 

"There were rumours about you being on your deathbed and the royal family releasing a false statement that you had fallen into a constant sleep. Many of us were praying to the gods for you." Jongin tightens his arms around Sehun, impossibly closer. He must be feeling his bony structures poking his skin, so he cradles Sehun's face and says, eyes dripping with concern.

"You look so thin and fragile. You look so weak." 

But Sehun just chuckles weakly, "I hope you still like me like this."

"I do. No matter how you look." Jongin proves his point by smearing a kiss on Sehun's cheek, and the gesture leaves the prince flustered from head to toe. 

"So that's really the prince, uh? I expected more." The girl pipes in, with an unimpressed arch of her eyebrow. 

"Hey. He's my boyfriend." Jongin arguments, but soon his distress fades, and he gestures to his friend, amicably. "This is my friend, Wendy. She also works with me. She's the lead singer."

Neither of them engage with much interest. An unknown party was never expected to show up, and that triggers Sehun's suspicions. Maybe he's lost the capability to trust others taking into account everything he's been through recently. However, Jongin called her a friend, so Sehun should indulge him and let it slide for now. 

"And what's your name, big guy?" Wendy asks, sizing Chanyeol up. 

"I'm Chanyeol." He responds. There's a faint blush on his cheeks, all the way down to his dimples. "I'm the guard." He adds, straightening up his posture. Wendy giggles, timidly tucking her hair behind her ear. 

"Anyway, we shouldn't be here. It's too risky." Chanyeol then alerts them, his demeanor reforming to a fierce and protective one. That much is prone to happen, even if the only sound they can hear comes from the crickets chirping in the night.

Impulsively, Sehun ended up uncovering his face in the middle of a crowd, and they did abandon a performance midway. Soon, there will be podocheong guards pursuing them. 

"Let's go to our place. You two are welcomed stay over." Invites Wendy. With no other option left, they agree. Be that as it may, Sehun just won't split apart from Jongin anymore. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The place is small and simple, but Sehun supposes that's how Jongin pefers. It's rusty, old and dusty, but rather welcoming, made of dark red bricks. A green gate with vines hanging off is the door to the property. Then comes a narrow dirt path with small pebbles. At the door they deposit their sandals and boots before entering the residency. 

Taking a peek inside, Sehun spots musty rooms that could be revamped, or better bedding, and floors that could have impeccable floorings, unlike his palace where nothing ever got dirty. Sehun has never seen dust in his twenty five years of life. 

This is where life's plain, simple and quite hard. But, life's good and happy, too. Again, unlike life at his palace. 

"We'll be preparing dinner. You two stay here. Don't move." Wendy says excitedly, shoving Jongin towards the kitchen. Flopping onto the table they kneel by on the floor, a pang of silence follows, from the kitchen the sounds of giggling and utensils fill the room occasionally. 

"So… now that we've found him… what's next?" Chanyeol scratches the back of his neck, as though he's feeling a little out of it. Maybe it's the weather or the location. Most likely it is Wendy. 

"What do you mean?"

"Now what?" Chanyeol splutters, "You didn't plan this ahead, did you?"

A frown arches high on Sehun's forehead, very much displeased with the guard's choice of words, although they're very much correct. 

"Not yet. But don’t worry. I'll figure something out. For now, let's just lay low and rest a little."

They could use a little rest. Sehun especially, considering his recent health condition. With Jongin there, nothing could possibly go wrong.

"That sounds like a good plan." Chanyeol agrees with a shrug. Then he adds. "Do you think Ms. Wendy will allow us to stay a little longer." He's mindlessly fumbling with the sewed tablecloth, a snort comes from the prince at the question.

"I don't know about me, but you? Probably."

The guard gasps at the remark, and for the first time ever since he woke up, Sehun catches himself smiling. 

Not long after they are gifted with warm chicken soup and bowls of rice, accompanied with freshly made side dishes such as kimchi and stew. It's far from the royal court’s cuisine, and there is no bronzeware serving him, but Sehun wolfs it down like a starved man. He did only feed himself with grains and water for the past two days. 

"Sorry, we don't have a fancy banquet. I hope this is enough." Jongin says timidly, watching as Sehun not so elegantly stuffs his face with a loaf of bread. 

"So… Mr. Sehun. Your majesty. Your grace? Highness? Anyways, how come you knew Jongin would be here?" Wendy asks, stirring the steaming soup with a wooden spoon. Sehun glances at her across the table, answers with his mouth full. 

"I just did."

From the singer comes the sceptical raise of an eyebrow, side-eyeing the prince. "Is it true you were in a coma?"

"You're asking too much, lady." Chanyeol interferes, tone not too gentle. A tension ignites around the table. Wendy's glare is a broadsword stab. 

"This is my house. I'll ask whatever I please." She retaliates sourly. 

"I'm a performer now." Jongin interrupts the conversation, lightening the mood with a smile that extends all the way to his eyes. 

"You were amazing on that stage. You drove people crazy." Sehun's own smile is just as affectionate. Chopsticks stab lightly at Jongin's stew as he chews the inside of his cheek. Grinning, he looks at Sehun and says:

"I really like it. You know, dancing. It's… empowering."

"I know you do."

Extremely warm hands take Jongin's into his, slowly raising them up to his lips to kiss his knuckles.

"I got him that job. The man is a natural." Wendy exclaims, punching Jongin playfully. "The whole village is into him."

Sehun frowns at that, a flood of jealousy churning inside his stomach. A man like Jongin and his beauty would never pass unnoticed by the eyes of any living creature, but Sehun has a possessive side of him that relies on Jongin and he just can't shake off that feeling. 

But when Jongin tugs at his hand, sends him that crooked smile of his, he becomes the spotlight of Sehun's vision. Soon, adoration replaces jealousy. 

"There are so many great people I want you to meet. They've all been helping so much ever since I arrived here."

"We can do that tomorrow. You can show me around."

"It's not safe." Chanyeol intervenes once again, following both his duties his intuitions.

"It'll be okay. Don't worry." Sehun says in a quiet but contented voice "We'll be together."

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

At night, when everyone else has fallen asleep, Jongin takes Sehun’s hand and convinces him with a tender kiss to his lips to sneak out of the house. The privacy is more than welcome since they've been rooming in a considerably tiny house with thin walls.Seeing as they have been apart from each other for months, Sehun follows along with little restraint.

The nearest place is the barn right behind the main pathway to the village's center. The barn probably belongs to some land proprietor, but the information doesn’t seem very relevant at the moment.

It's a large shed made of weathered oak planks with a sloping corrugated iron roof that made even the average drizzle sound like a hailstorm. A half empty hay net hangs limply in the corner. The doors hinge a creak when Jongin swings it open, wind whipping around through the gaps in the planks like icy fingers.

It's dark but oddly warm inside, and as they drift further in, Sehun notices there are no horses occupying any of the stalls, which is sort of relieving. He wouldn't appreciate horses neighing while he's mid-thrust inside his boyfriend.

They inch closer, moonlight closing in on them, as if illuminating a midnight filled with unspoken secrets, and as Sehun captures Jongin's lips into his mouth, realization dawns on him that here, they don't have to keep their romance a secret anymore. They're together and in love; they're free.

Jongin gasps when Sehun's tongue swipes against his. He is warm against Sehun, much warmer than he ever felt before. Or maybe it's just the longing and the time spent apart that makes Sehun feel like this. His lips are soft but firm, fitting against Sehun's too well. Jongin pushes his head harder into the kiss, almost needy, desperate.

"I missed you, my prince." Jongin wraps his arms around Sehun’s shoulders, opening his mouth, and Sehun’s tongue slides inside in an instant. It sends a jolt down Sehun’s whole body, makes his legs wobble and his hands grip into Jongin so tightly his knuckles go white.

Sehun slows, sliding his tongue in a steady motion across Jongin’s. His arms tighten around Jongin in a firm, secure hold. "Missed you too. So much."

Jongin makes a frustrated moan into their kiss, sucking at Sehun’s tongue. In less than a second Sehun returns it, before giving a quick nip at Jongin’s bottom lip.

The kiss deepens again and Jongin lets his grip loosen, sliding his hands up to tangle in Sehun's hair. The strands curl and toss between his fingers. Only when he starts to pull back does Sehun notice his lungs burning for air.

He pulls back, too, taking in a deep breath that eases his discomfort. But now his lungs and his mouth burn with aching need for something other than oxygen. "Are you sure we won't get caught here?"

"Do you care?"

When Sehun leans forward again his lips only connect to Jongin’s for a moment before they slide down, pressing brief kisses along his jawline and to his neck. Jongin tilts his head as Sehun unfastens Jongin’s top, sliding the fabric down and exposing the entirety of his neck. His kisses make their way to his pulse point, sucking at it almost gently.

So Sehun sucks again, harder this time, enough so that Jongin moans and falls back a bit. It's Sehun's hold, of course, that keeps him from collapsing, but his body still falls back enough that it finds the soft, prickling hay pillowing his body. 

Jongin wraps his legs lightly around Sehun’s hips, bringing Sehun over him as they lay down. Sehun kisses him harder, and again Jongin moans, fingers curling tighter into Sehun's hair.

Dragging his tongue along Jongin’s neck, Sehun slides a hand down to one of Jongin’s thighs. He brings his fingers up the side of it, squeezing when they meet his hip. Jongin jumps just a bit, putting the distance between them needed for Sehun to start palming at his cock through his pants.

Sehun opens his mouth to say something, anything, about how much he loves Jongin, how beautiful he is, but Jongin seems to have no interest in talking now.

He leans up and shoves his lips into Sehun’s. Returning it with a light moan, Sehun brings his other hand down and up under the hem of Jongin’s tunic until he finds the top of his pants and tugs at them.

Jongin just leans further against him and bites at Sehun’s lip. "Come on, let me slide these off."

With only minor difficulty Sehun pushes Jongin’s pants down, just enough so that his cock is freed. Forcing himself, Sehun pulls back from the kiss, as he reaches back down and runs two fingers along Jongin’s length.

Jongin nearly squirms, back arching a bit into it. Sehun’s other hand drifts down from his jawline, to his neck, skimming along where Jongin’s tunic’s been unfastened to slide his fingertips along his chest.

Sehun leans forward further, pressing his lips to Jongin’s ear. “You feel so good,” he murmurs, feeling a jolt run down Jongin’s body all the way to his cock . Sehun curls his fingers around it, squeezing it lightly before running his hand down its length. “Better than ever.”

After a somewhat shuddered breath, Jongin manages to look Sehun in the eyes. “I thought I would never have this again" He says, voice more strained than he was hoping.

“I'm here now,” Sehun reminds him, sucking at Jongin’s pulse point with a force that makes Jongin gasp. “Like I promised you.”

Jongin brings back a hand to cover his mouth as Sehun sucks at him again, this time while skimming his fingers down to the tip of his cock.

By now Sehun has leaned down enough that Jongin is all but laying flat on his back on the thick hay. Sehun runs his tongue along Jongin’s neck and up to his earlobe, flicking against it before murmuring, “Why don’t you tell me what you want?”

Jongin’s grip tightens in Sehun’s hair. Sehun squeezes his cock.

“Just tell me.” Sehun’s voice isn’t any quieter, but it’s softer, somehow. "I'll do anything you want."

Jongin surges up and shoves his lips onto Sehun’s, hard enough he thinks they might have both been bruised, but that doesn’t stop Jongin from kissing him harder. It takes Sehun aback, he leans back and lets out a low noise, and Jongin takes the chance to sit up nearly entirely.

Sehun’s bare hand leaves his cock and comes up to the back of Jongin’s neck, brushing past the ends of his hair to pull him deeper into the kiss. Their heads tilt and Jongin moans a little as their tongue slide across each other, and back again.

For a minute, or maybe an hour, perhaps two, that’s the only motion between them. Occasionally, Jongin’s fingers tangle further into Sehun’s hair, or Sehun pushes his hand against the back of Jongin’s neck.

“I'm so glad I found you,” Sehun says hurriedly, crashing his lips into Jongin’s. He moans loudly, and it hitches into a gasp as Sehun nips at his bottom lip before starting to press hard kisses along his jawline. “I'm so glad,” he repeats, and Jongin nearly whimpers, body writhing as Sehun wraps an arm around his waist, holding him up. "I couldn't imagine myself without you.”

“To- touch me,” Jongin stammers, despite the fact that his body jolts into Sehun’s touch as he curls his bare fingers around his cock.

“Is this what you want?” Sehun says, squeezing lightly. Jongin’s hands fumble to Sehun's shoulders, gripping them as Sehun runs his palm along Jongin’s length, coating his fingers in precum and sliding them back down. The slick movement sends a shiver up Jongin’s body, his heart threatening to leap out of his chest when Sehun presses a distinctly wet kiss to his neck.

“Turn over for me,” Sehun murmurs, lips moving against Jongin. He then pulls back and brings his hand up from Jongin’s cock to hold him by the wrist, rolling him around as his other arm is still around Jongin’s waist.

Sehun leans forward and brushes Jongin’s hair aside from the back of his neck, planting a light kiss there that turns into two. 

Jongin’s knees buckle. And then Sehun pushes down on his upper back and Jongin bends forward with the motion, palms flat against the hay. 

He leans down to kiss the back of Jongin's neck one more time, leaning over him, his hard cock pressing against his ass. Jongin lets out a shuddering breath, legs trembling.

“Hold still,” Sehun murmurs, and the warmth of him being so close leaves. Jongin turns his head, straining to see, only barely able to make out Sehun moving behind him before he pulls down Jongin’s pants.

He bites his tongue, fighting the urge to jump from the cool air hitting his skin and the contrasting rush of heat to his cock.It doesn’t stop the near-whine that escapes him when Sehun’s fingertips start to run down the end of his back and over the curve of his ass. His back arches a bit, and he bites his lip so hard he nearly draws blood.

Sehun’s hands trail down to Jongin’s thighs, fingertips just barely skimming them. They slide in between and Jongin's legs tremble lightly before Sehun starts to push them apart.

Spreading his knees apart slowly, Jongin’s breaths come in audible and strained, pure anticipation making his body shake. After what seems like ages, Sehun darts his tongue out and leans in, wetness sliding up Jongin's inner thigh, and he lets out a whimper.

With a whine, Jongin rolls his hips back, cock aching.

Sehun presses a quick kiss to his thigh, fingertips running the course of his length, tip to base. Jongin moans, the contact like salve on burned flesh, and it turns into a shuddered exhale as Sehun’s fingers curl around him.

Slowly stroking him, Sehun drags his tongue up Jongin’s ass, biting where the skin is its most supple. Jongin’s breaths shorten as he kisses higher, pushing his tunic up to reach his lower back. When Sehun reaches the base of his spine, he nips again and Jongin’s whole body jerks with a high-pitched moan.

Sehun’s lips curve into a smile against his skin before he plants light kisses downward, trailing them to the rhythm of his strokes. After only a few inches he stops, bringing his other hand up from Jongin’s thigh to spread him further.

Jongin’s breaths become their most shallow as Sehun’s tongue slowly, too slowly, dips, sliding along the side of his entrance. Jongin whimpers, high and drawn out, eyes shut tight. Every movement of Sehun’s tongue is teasing, sending sparks up Jongin’s body that turn into jolts of hot pleasure as Sehun flicks at his entrance.

Jongin bucks his hips, shifting his weight to the elbows as he arches up into it. And Sehun’s tongue pushes firmly against him.

Curling his fingers into his palms, Jongin’s whole body starts to shake, coming to a punctured exhale as Sehun’s tongue enters him. It simultaneously relaxes his body and sends a wave of pleasure up it, one that makes Jongin’s insides tighten. Sehun’s hand kneads at his ass, pushing against tense muscle. His tongue moves from his entrance and slides up, then back down, dipping inside and then sucking at sensitive skin.

When Sehun goes back to fully pumping his cock, Jongin jumps and yelps, senses overloading. Sehun's tongue dives deep and Jongin’s moans are loud as he rolls his hips back. The sound he makes when Sehun pulls away again and sucks at his skin is more like a mewl than anything else.

Again Sehun’s tongue enters him, "Se- Sehun,” he says, stammering as the other flicks his tongue inside him.

Suddenly, Sehun pulls back, slick mouth leaving Jongin, as his arms pull him up by the hips. "I don't have any… oil." Sehun notes, concern lacing his voice. That should kill the mood entirely, but Jongin doesn't seem to be not even close to giving this up, not when they came this far.

"It's okay. We can use… spit. Just do something." He urges, too caught up in the moment. Sehun, on the other hand, still possesses a bit of common sense.

"I… don't want to hurt you. I'm quite big, you know."

"I'm already pretty wet and loosened up by your tongue. I can take it. Just go slow." Jongin assures him, rolling over to lie on his back again. There is a moment of silence as Sehun considers this. He frowns down at Jongin, who already looks too worked up to be left hanging. And besides, Sehun just really, really wants to be inside him again, after so long.

Sehun finally bends and gives in, kneeling between Jongin’s legs and kissing him. Jongin kisses back hungrily, pulling him down onto the hay and on top of him, dazed at getting his way. “But we’ll have to go slow,” Sehun says between kisses. Jongin has never nodded so fervently in his life.

Then Sehun’s sitting up, letting Jongin’s arms fall away from where they’ve wrapped around his neck, and something changes in the air abruptly as Sehun gazes down at him, spread out beneath him. 

“You’ll tell me if it’s too much, okay?” It’s not a request, he knows, and Jongin nods up at Sehun. “We can stop any time. But, you know, I'm no virgin, I've had your ‘big’ dick up my ass plenty of times.” 

There’s a frown marring Sehun's face as he considers Jongin, and then he’s nodding, decision made.

He bends down and takes Jongin’s ankle in his hand and raises it to rest on his shoulder. His thumb rests on the inside, rubbing circles into the skin, and then he brushes his lips against the skin there, and it sends a bolt of heat down Jongin‘s spine, making his body squirm.

Sehun shushes him from where he’s pressing light kisses against his skin. 

The pleasant tingling simmers down as Sehun’s lips trail down the raised length of his legs. Sehum can feel Jongin's body thrumming, heat spreading like waves and radiating off his body from the epicenter of each kiss that Sehun lays upon him.

“You’re so sensitive.” It’s a soft, low murmur against Jongin's skin, approving, and Jongin's hands come down to where Sehun’s head is resting between his legs. They slide up into his hair and tangle into the strands, the weight of his head a soothing anchor for him. “I like it.” Jongin shivers. "But hurry up, please."

Jongin has closed his eyes again, until he opens them when he feels a pressure against his mouth and meeting two of Sehun’s thick and calloused fingers. Jongin's plush lips are so, so warm. A gentle weight against Sehun's fingers, steady.

Then Jongin's mouth slides open, almost a reflex, letting the fingers slide in, and slight weight of his tongue feels so right on Sehun's knuckles that the moan slips out of him without any fight. Jongin’s eyes fall shut of their own volition, and as the salt of Sehun’s skin registers, his mouth waters, and his tongue slides against the fingers. He’s hollowing his mouth and sucking, lost in the unexpected but singular pleasure of having his mouth stuffed full, before he remembers himself and opens his eyes.

Sehun has pulled himself up, his mouth fallen open, chest falling in and out in harsh breaths, proof that Jongin is not alone in being so affected by these touches. 

The weight of his stare to where Jongin has his mouth wrapped around his fingers is heavy, almost hungry. He moans, low and filthy, the sound wet and muffled as it slides past the fingers in his mouth.

Sehun’s gaze is pinned to the slow pump of his fingers in and out of Jongin. His thumb comes up to brush the corner of Jongin’s mouth, and he leans into the touch. He feels content in the moment, his eyes falling shut again, his tongue tracing lazy figures against Sehun’s fingers. Saliva builds in the insides of his mouth, and as the fingers curl and press down into his tongue, then slide slowly out with a dirty slick sound and then back in, out and in again, some of it drips out the corner of his mouth. 

The fingers are tugged out, Sehun’s arm pulling away, and Jongin whines. His hands shoot up and clamp down on Sehun’s arm, keeping his fingers inside. He narrows his eyes at Sehun, giving his fingers a long, slow suck that meant to be pointed and disgruntled, but feels desperate in action. 

“Shhhh,” there’s the soft susurrus of Sehun’s breath against his ear, his free hand coming up to cradle his neck, fingers brushing the hair at the base of his head. “Jongin, didn't you tell me to hurry up?”

Sehun’s voice inexplicable seems to settle him. The thumb that’s been resting against his mouth presses deeper, then they’re pressing in and down, until Jongin’s mouth is jerked open in a wet gasp. Jongin's brows drawing in together in dissatisfaction, as Sehun’s fingers slip free in one long slow slide against his tongue. It hovers just outside, Jongin watching as a thick strand of saliva follows it, stretching and stretching, until it breaks as Sehun brings the two fingers in, together with the thumb, rubbing them intently, checking that they’re wet and slick enough.

“You're being so dirty,” he presses a kiss against Jongin’s temple, hoping that though Jongin can’t see it, he can feel the smile in the kiss. “We need to get you wet now.” And Jongin shudders at the meaning. "Get you ready for me."

Sehun lowers himself back down between Jongin’s legs, and his thighs fall open once more. He lowers his back to the mattress of hay and tries to take in slow and deep breaths.

As Sehun’s hands press into the flesh of his ass and spread them apart, Jongin's breath leave him.

There’s the first press of fingers against Jongin's opening, and then Sehun's fingers press in, his mouth kissing into the place where they’re joined, then licking into him, beside the finger.

“Sehun, please,” Jongin’s begging now, pleading for something he can’t put to words, his hands grasping at the chaff aimlessly as it crunches under his hands. One finger becomes two, the pressure thicker suddenly, sliding deeper and crooking up, and his mouth falls open in a soundless scream, his body bowing almost painfully.

Sehun’s mouthing at the inside of his thighs again. he’s going to have a ridiculous set of hickeys down there, proof of Sehun laying claim to his body, and for the first Sehun doesn't care about it, about who's going to see them. If anything, Sehun wants to mark all over Jongin's body.

His fingers have stilled where they’re still inside Jongin, but Jongin remains hyperaware of their presence. Already Sehun feels the heat spreading afresh from where they’re joined, and he would be embarrassed at how eager and desperate that makes him seem, to feel such tightness around his own cock, but he looks down at Jongin and forgets to care.

“You look pretty when you come.” Sehun comments, mouthing against the skin of Jongin's thigh. "Can't wait to see that face again". He sees the flush of pleasure spread and settle into Jongin's cheeks, despite all efforts.

“You’re pretty when my fingers are inside you” and then his fingers are moving again, steady and deep, purposeful. “Getting you all wet and loose for me.”

Jongin’s gasping now, thankful for the grip of Sehun’s hand where it’s holding his hand down into the hay, strong and unyielding.

He wails then, as the fingers inside him rub into that spot that sends electricity up his spine, and then keeps rubbing there. "Right there,” he wants to growl, but his voice comes out broken and pleading.

The fingers have slowed down even more now, but they’re pressing much harder into that spot, almost as if to make a point.

Another kiss to where his fingers are buried in Jongin, then the fingers are sliding out with a soft wet pop. Jongin doesn’t stop the whine that leaves him at the emptiness.

A kiss and a bite, then Jongin's hips fly off the hays when Sehun's fingers shove back in one quick stroke, pressing and pressing into that spot unforgivingly, and a wetness land on his stomach as he comes for the first time.

It feels like an eternity as he lies there limp, trying to catch his breath and willing his heart to calmness. The hays move around as Sehun comes up to lie beside him, and he feels unspeakably empty without the insistent press of Sehun’s fingers inside him.

A hand comes up to his stomach as he lies there, and Sehun starts rubbing the come into his skin. He takes it and brings it into his mouth, moaning as he tastes Jongin. 

“I'm not done, love” Sehun sees Jongin slit an eye open then, staring at Sehun pointedly, as if to say, is it even necessary to ask? The look earns him another laugh, gusted softly against the side of his neck.

"Don't stop, please” Jongin says then, the hand comes again to squeeze his, and Sehun feels his hand curl in return. The next breath he takes feels lighter.

His hand drifts down to play with the wetness left on Jongin's stomach, and Jongin watches him raise that hand and begin once again to suck on the come. There is a different energy in Sehun now, in the way he is keeping himself carefully still. Hungry and intent, with none of the indulgent lightness from earlier. He feels drunk on it, and he decides he likes it. 

Keeping his eyes locked on Sehun, feeling daring and breathless with it, Jongin hooks one hand behind a knee and pulls. Sehun remains silent, but Jongin sees the way his nostrils flare and revels in it.

Then Sehun is crawling on top of him, and as Jongin enjoys the sight of Sehun finally, finally, settled above him, Sehun begins to scoop more of the come into his fingers. His body thrums everywhere they touch.

“I was right, you know.” Curious, he lets his fingers stall where they’re stroking lazily over Jongin's abs. “You look pretty with fingers inside you.”

And as Sehun props himself up on one elbow, he lets his hand trail down between Jongin’s legs, sliding to the rim of Jongin’s opening, where it’s red and puffy. The spit from before has mostly dried, but as he rubs come into the rim, it softens once more and gives with a slight push.

“Prettier when they’re my fingers,” then he’s pushing two fingers in at once, and Jongin must still be stretched open from before because they slide in with little resistance.

He drives them in and out, each slide easier than the last. Jongin’s legs have fallen open and stay pinned down on their own, his mouth a similar open stretch, fist curled wetly against his mouth.

He only shuts his mouth with a click when Sehun pulls his fingers free, the unhappy curl of his mouth so charming that Sehun has to press a kiss to it.

“Relax. I just need you wetter,” and he’s scooping up more come and pressing three fingers in.

It’s instantly everything that Jongin has wanted and yet too much, and he’s keening, digging his heels restlessly against the hays.

Sehun's hand rub soothingly at his sides, and his fingers don't stop the repeated intrusion where they’re pressed inside him.

“You love this, don’t you?” His fingers are almost punishing now, milking drawn out moans from Jongin.

“Fucking yourself on my fingers, moaning like you need it.” Jongin feels drunk on sensation, pushing his hips down almost mindlessly against Sehun’s fingers, begging for more, and all at once Sehun’s patience frays and snaps.

“You’re perfect taking my fingers,” he pushes his fingers in a final time, rubs them furiously against Jongin’s prostate once, twice as he leans in next to Jongin’s ear. “But you look even better taking my cock.” One last shove against his prostate, and Jongin’s hole is clamping down on his fingers, his body afire as he comes again.

He’s sobbing for air as Sehun gathers the come on his chest and stomach and slicks himself up, the slide of his hands around his cock quick and perfunctory as he takes in the sight of Jongin under him. He's a flushed mess, littered with the ghost of bruises beginning to form from Sehun’s earlier attentions.

One beat turns into two, then he’s leaning over Jongin, moving one leg over his shoulder and hooking the other around his hip. Everywhere Jongin looks, there’s Sehun, warm and steady.

Jongin tightens his legs around him and draws Sehun deeper into the cradle of his body. He presses a kiss to Jongin’s forehead, and then pushes in.

Even with their earlier activities, it’s tight, and Sehun has to muffle a curse. He presses in slowly, each inch a careful study of Jongin’s face. Jongin digs fingers into Sehun’s back and draws them down. “Come on, move.” There’s a disbelieving laugh, and then Sehun’s driving in the last couple of inches.

“Much better. Don’t you dare hold ba-“ his voices ends in a moan as Sehun bites into his neck and growls. This close, he can feel the rumbles as they form in Sehun’s chest, and this breaks open what feels like the last of his walls, his own chest shuddering as he moans, unfiltered. His earlier bravado is forgotten now, his voice broken as he begs Sehun to move. 

Never one to disappoint Jongin, Sehun pulls back and slams in. The rhythm builds up and turns punishing, as if he’s lost all patience for a drawn out fuck. He goes deep and pushes in hard, each stroke punching out a cry from Jongin.

It doesn’t take long to find that spot, and once he finds it, he aims for it relentlessly. Below him, Jongin gasps with every push and pull. When he feels his hand inch toward his cock, he gathers both his wrists in one hand and presses them over his head, his grip unmoving.

“Jongin,” his words are bitten off now in quick breaths, timed with his thrusts. “You can come on my cock, can’t you?”

His free hand moves to Jongin’s hips and pulls him down to meet his thrusts, the surge of it electrifying, making Jongin twist in the hay. “You look so pretty coming around my cock.”

And then he’s driving in impossibly deeper, once, twice, thrice and then Jongin’s coming in a soundless scream. His feels his muscles tighten all round Sehun, and it doesn’t take long before he’s following Jongin, fucking into him in short aborted thrusts before spilling wet heat into him.

He’s a boneless slump atop Jongin for a few blissed out seconds before he feels himself soften and pull out carefully. Jongin hisses in spite of himself, and he can see the apology form on Sehun’s lips, so he draws his arms around Sehun’s neck and pulls him closer. “Baby,” he whispers, “I feel so empty.” He lets the pout form on his lips, and watches Sehun study his face for a moment. He wills himself to hold his gaze.

“I’m too empty,” he repeats. Sehun’s gaze drops down to where his legs have remained softly open from when they fell away from Sehun, then to where their legs meet, where come drips from Jongin's hole over the hay.

Then Sehun’s reaching down, fingers dipping, briefly curling to tease, before they slip out as Jongin's hole tightens around the fingers futilely. And then he’s scooping the come that’s slipped out and stuffing it back into Jongin, making him sigh happily as he tucks himself into Sehun’s side.

When he feels Sehun start to pull back, Jongin whines and stops his arm with a hard clench of his thighs. “No,” it’s not a growl, but it should be with how vicious it is.

“You're really so dirty.” Sehun isn't dismayed, at all. The relaxed set of his shoulders and the easy light in his eyes suggest he is, in fact, the opposite.

Jongin huffs and presses his face into Sehun’s neck, letting his eyes drift shut as Sehun tucks his chin atop his head. “Thought you wouldn't be able to take me.” A laugh builds in Sehun’s throat, warmth blanketing his body as it rumbles pleasantly over them. 

"Don't ever underestimate me, prince. You're big but I'm tough." Jongin curls deeper into Sehun’s side and mouths softly at Sehun’s throat, the thought a gentle starburst of pleasure lulling him to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

"You look better today." The following morning greets Sehun with a sunny sky and a smirk from Jongin. 

"I received some high quality treatment last night." With the images of the things they did the previous night still fresh in his mind, Sehun lowers his gaze to the floor, unable to control his dazed grin and the incessant pounding of his heart. 

"Come on. Let's head out. I want you to meet someone. We can have breakfast there."

It’s an ordinary day in the village. The ambiance is clean and quiet, commerce running fruitfully, and residents out and about on errands. 

As they stride through the dry route, Jongin takes Sehun's hand, swaying it mindlessly between them as they walk. Sehun can't help but stare at their joined hands, such a casual public display of affection, and for the briefest second Sehun feels his heart tightening with inevitable panic. Back at the palace, such a bold gesture was forbidden unless they snuck into the walls of his chambers. 

Now here, where they're allowed to roam free, without the need to camouflage themselves, they earn fond gazes and appreciative smiles. Some of them are followed by _good morning_ and _have a lovely day_ and all sorts of compliments directed at Jongin who greets them back just as friendly.

Within a few short weeks, he’s won the fondness of many, the admiration of several, and the hearts of even more.

_"You look dashing today, Kai."_

_"I'm looking forward to your next performance, Kai oppa!"_

_"I want to learn your new choreography, Kai hyung"_

Endless praises are showered, much to Jongin's delight. And while watching him being recognized by his talents is pleasing, Sehun raises a brow, noticing the peculiar name. 

"Kai?"

"I thought it sounded more artistic. And it sort of suits my new identity." Jongin justifies with an easy shrug. Sehun studies him, takes his time just taking in Jongin's beauty, the smile that reveals that he’s too tenderhearted for his own good. 

"You're still Jongin to me. I mean, you look more like a Jongin."

"I can be both. I am both." Jongin glances at him, grin brighter than all the diamonds that adorn his parents' crowns. 

Those used to be the most resplendent gleam he'd ever seen, but Jongin's beats them easily. 

"You're happy here, aren't you?"

"It does feel nice not being judged and watched all the time, but you know what?" Jongin pauses, glances at him with earnest eyes. "I'm always happier with you."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"We're here."

The house looks similar to the one Jongin's been residing in lately, the lawn it’s only distinction. There is a variety of medicinal herbs flourishing in front, set out in soil. From the inside comes the scent of cinnamon and ginseng. 

Skipping introductions, Jongin goes inside the house, beaming. "Abeonim! I've brought company."

Following him inside, Sehun spots artfully arranged pots with creams, oils, ointments and gels arrayed on shelves, the walls plastered with philosophical ideologies of acupuncture posters. Sehun assumes the place is the village's destination for medical issues. 

The man’s head whips around to meet the owner of the voice, amused.

"Hello, Jongin-ah. I was just thinking of you." He responds, wrinkles boring deeply into his skin. He's slender despite his years, toned and not at all stooped. A strong man, Sehun defines, past his jovial years but still standing like such. In village folk, longevity is a matter of luck, and Sehun can only guess the man's struggles and experiences in getting this far. 

"Who is that?"

"Someone I really would like you to meet. My boyfriend."

The man's twinkling eyes are framed by thick eyebrows and on his stubbled chin are white whiskers. He glances at Sehun skeptically, observing him as though he's an indecipherable puzzle.

"You're… Our prince," He says, finally cracking a smile. "You're alive?" His voice has a husky drawl and every step he takes is deliberate and slow, as if he's holding himself back from reaching out, though he's bursting with curiosity. 

Sehun remains still, awkwardness bubbling inside him. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to such a reaction to his presence. 

"It's okay, Sehun. He knows." Jongin assures him with a light touch to his arm, and Sehun uses that to calm down a little. 

"Oh Sehun. You've gotten so handsome and tall."

"Do-- do you know me, abeonim?" Sehun stammers. 

"Indeed, I do. I was the first person to hold you. I performed your birth." 

Sehun shares a look with Jongin, shocked with the revelation. "You're a doctor?"

The doctor nods, his face is stern, yet peaceful.

"A long time ago, I was the Queen's personal healer. Until the King decreed that only female workers could aid her. So I was exiled from the palace."

"He's the one who found me passed out in the woods. He nursed my injuries and took care of me. I owe him my life." Jongin adds, and only then does Sehun lose all indifference towards the doctor, instantly warming up to him. 

"I'm really thankful. Thank you so much for saving his life when I couldn't." Sehun bows at him, like he would bow for his father, only this man has a greater reason to receive Sehun's reverence. For saving Jongin's life, Sehun would bend his knee a thousand times over. "And I'm sorry for what happened to you." He feels the need to apologize for his family's injustices, it’s not the first time, probably not the last either. 

The doctor shakes his head with the tiniest of smiles.

"That's fine. Because I have found my way here, where I truly belong. And I got to see little Jongin running around when he was just an infant. He has always been such a lovely boy."

This man has stories to tell, experience dances on his lips. And if Jongin considers him a reliable friend, or a role model of some sort after everything, who is Sehun to question that?

"If there is anything you wish for, just tell me. I'll make sure you get it. Anything. It's my way to repay you for what you've done." Offers Sehun truthfully. If the man asks for his life in return, Sehun might just give it away to him. 

"There is nothing I wish for myself anymore. Except for maybe one thing."

The laughter lines around his eyes are just the right amount. Sehun supposes that he's often happy, but at that moment he looks deadly serious, determined as if he's about to ask for half of Sehun's wealth. 

"What is it, abeonim?"

His face splits into the grin Sehun imagines him to wear often. Then he takes his hand in his two, squeezing. "Your Majesty could keep coming by. We could use a royal visitor once in a while."

"You want me to keep visiting you? Frequently?" Sehun inquires, astonished. Of all the things that could be offered, a request for Sehun's company was the last thing he expected. He supposes it's something he can commit to quite easily. 

"That would be it, son." Abeonim says, expression melting to serenity once more. "You'll always be welcomed here. The two of you."

By their side Jongin is overjoyed. He lets the moment stretch until all the overwhelming feelings simmer down. He looks content more than anything, with this meeting fulfilling his expectations. 

"Now, could you please give Sehun some miraculous vitamins? He kind of needs them." He says, and the atmosphere soon charges with merriment. 

"I've got just the right stuff for him." The doctor grins, before heading towards his stockroom. Sehun sighs, realizing that making new friends is not quite like making mere allies, and it brings warmth to his heart. 

He thinks he could get used to this easier than getting used to being a prince. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Time passes by far too quickly when he's with Jongin, and it pains him.

Sehun's aware of time rushing by, but life with Jongin seems like a dream come true, and neither of them want to let go. It's easy waking up next to him, bathing with him, having meals with him, having a domestic routine with him. It's a comfort that one can’t let slip through their fingers. 

All of that works perfectly as a facade to hide all his problems. But once night falls, it brings back with it the weight on his shoulders along with uneasy thoughts, reminding him that his home is not in that village, that his mother is still out there, and he's still a prince with duties and an entire kingdom depending on him. 

With his inevitable fate approaching him by the second, Sehun fears he's running out of time and he's utterly clueless about what to do to avoid it without losing Jongin.

Drowning out his thoughts, Jongin starts humming random dulcet melodies, songs tumbling from his lips like honey.

Jongin who appreciates the scent of flowers and drawing little bears on sand. Who loves animals just as much as he loves dancing. Who looks at Sehun as if he's looking into the stars, smiles at him as if he’s beholding the most precious thing. Jongin who pours his heart into it, however meager the task.

"Are you here, your majesty?" Jongin mumbles, gently tucking a flower behind Sehun's ear. His voice is quiet, inquiring. It’s enough to snap him from his thoughts. "We should get inside now. I'm done watering the garden."

Hand in hand, they shuffle back inside from the lawn, leaving the garden neat and fresh, and the stars draping the sky and sparkling through the silver glow of the moon. Though the longer Sehun gazes at them, they're still a far cry to the upward curve of pink, plush lips and crescent eyes decorating tan skin he loves so dearly.

Sehun gazes at Jongin, eyes more open than they can be in the fullness of night, not looking at one star, yet somehow seeing them all at once in Jongin's eyes. 

The high pitched moans that comes from the rooms completely kill their mood. Jongin pulls a face, unable to contain the laughter that breaks through. "About time, uh?" He comments, just when Wendy starts yelling Chanyeol's name followed by _'right there right there'._ "Are we supposed to sleep with all that noise?"

Slack-jawed, Sehun shakes his head, as though trying to block the filthy sounds corrupting his ears. The walls are useless at muffling the loud, incessant hard thuds. 

"Unless you want to get louder than them?"

"Listen, I can't beat Wendy's high notes." Jongin declares cackling, but takes Sehun to their shared bedroom nevertheless. In there, the desperate blast of moaning is somewhat subdued, so they undress quietly and settle on the mattress beside each other. 

Sehun drapes the large blanket around them before enveloping Jongin in his arms, kissing him slowly on his lips. 

"Sehun, I've never felt so happy in my life before." He mutters, leaving Sehun's heart fluttering, not noticing his eyes are mirthless. 

"What? You haven't even gotten your clothing store yet." He jokes, bringing Jongin closer against his chest, their noses bumping. 

"I mean it. Being happy has always cost me something. And now that we're here, together, it makes me scared." Jongin whispers back, finally looking up at Sehun with saddened eyes, and Sehun almost regrets saying what he meant as a joke at all. 

"Hey, come here,” Compliant, Jongin scoots over, eyes widening in surprise. "Don't be." Sehun whispers, trepidation seeping into his voice. 

"You're not supposed to be here. I'm most likely still being hunted." Jongin shakes his head, and when Sehun smiles, a forlorn, rueful smile, everything falls into place. 

He can see the disappointment and despair in Jongin's eyes, hear the brokenness laden in his voice. the grip of their interlaced hands tightens, and Sehun admits to himself that they haven't yet achieved their happiness. The dream hasn't come true wholly. There's still a lot at stake for them. 

"How long? How long until everything crumbles?" Jongin breathes, voice hoarse with anguish..

Sehun uses the corner of his sleeve to dab at the corner of Jongin's eyes.

"I won't let that happen, Jongin. I promise you. I'll figure this out soon." A sense of deja vu engulfs him, and he realizes this isn't the first time he's uttered such promises. "Let's just stay here, like this. Me and you. Like we never got to be before."

"I don't want this to end." Jongin's voice sounds so afraid, unguarded. He's always been an easy crier, more than Sehun, but now Sehun feels his own tears streaming down his face. 

"It won't."

He holds Jongin until his sorrow drains and he slumps against him in exhaustion. Sehun rocks his boyfriend quietly, back and forth, one hand wrapped around the back of his head as he whispers meaningless words of comfort. 

Most of them could be taken as advice for himself and his unkept, undone promises. 

"It's going to be alright. I'm going to fix this."

It's an excuse, a lie, and they both know it.


	8. Chapter 8

The sun shines mercilessly upon the market. Market shopping is Sehun's favorite time of the week. Every Friday they go to the square, moving between the stall holders, powdered spices in rust red and dusty yellow piles, or spilled bright green from sacks as large as feed bags. Rich and unfamiliar scents so heavy he can taste them in his mouth.

There are merchants eager for them to come and buy their supply by showering them with promises of the lowest price in the market whilst housewives hustle and bustle.

Sehun depletes his coin purse to satiate Jongin’s every demand. They wander between vendors where, until Jongin pauses in front of a strawberry stall, assessing their sweet scent and crimson color.

"You like this.” He affirms, grinning before lifting one up between his fingers and stuffing it in Sehun's mouth. It takes him by surprise momentarily, until its sweet taste coats his tongue and Sehun hums in delight. Jongin chuckles, indulging him with more bites of the fruit as he watches him lovingly. 

When he senses it, it comes tingling the hairs at the back of his head and his blood turns to ice. Jongin grows still upon noticing Sehun suddenly so uptight. He frowns.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

"We’re being followed." Sehun tells him, eyes scanning over the crowded place. 

"Right now?" Jongin drifts closer, as though shielding him. "Where?"

Almost imperceptibly, Sehun catches sight of movement to their left. He jerks his head towards the stranger, mingling with the crowd. 

"I see him. It's only one man." Jongin says, glances at him with defiance overflowing his gaze. "I think we can take him."

Sehun agrees with a silent nod, more excited than he should feel. He splits up from Jongin, taking the opposite direction to weave through the sea of people. Their target isn't too far ahead, periodically peering over his shoulder as he dodges buyers and sellers. Just like Sehun did when he first set foot in the village, the stranger is disguised in a gat and--dramatically--a black cloak.

A rookie, Sehun assumes. No guard or huntsman would be foolish enough to make such a mistake and dress so evidently. When he turns a corner, Sehun removes his dagger, never leaving his home unarmed, and swipes through the tall grass leading out of town. 

They've reached an empty hill, where the village ends and the woods begin, huge trees closing in on them. Having noticed that he’s being chased, the stranger speeds up, stumbling on his own legs. As distance between them gets shorter, Sehun scoffs to himself. The man's scared. 

He advances on him then, and seizes him by the collar, ignoring how he sobs and pleads with him to have mercy. Sehun drags him to the mud, and hurls him against a tree. Tears are wetting the terrified man’s face. He looms over his sobbing figure, eyes dark with anger. 

Soon Jongin is by his side, not so pleased about their apprehension as Sehun is. He disrobes the man of the cloak and removes the gat without ceremony. The man shrieks into himself, wailing. 

"Who are you?" Sehun demands angrily. "Are you following us?"

Impatiently, Jongin grabs him by the collars and tugs him upward harshly. Sehun sees the face of his young brother staring at him with panicked wide eyes. 

"Jisung? What are you doing here?"

The silence that swells between them is thick and terrifying. Deep-hearted relief consumes him. Of all people, the one to have found him couldn't be more trustworthy than his brother. 

"I've come to warn you. You're in danger. Real danger." He says, short of breath. Jongin's brow creases inquisitively.

"What do you mean?"

"Mother's sent her troops to search the village. The order is to attack if they catch sight of Jongin hyung." He explains. "They're spreading this poster. It's your face."

Jongin's face is sketched scrupulously on the piece of paper that Jisung shoves into Sehun's hands. 

Dread creeps over Sehun in an icy chill, numbing his brain. They're coming. The dream is over. 

"Hey hyung, missed you, man." In the impending doom falling upon them, Jisung manages a smile, and Jongin gifts him one in return, pinching one of his cheeks. 

"Me too. Won't you stop growing? You're almost as tall as I am."

Jisung giggles, swatting Jongin's hand away before his face hardens again, tuning back to the bigger problem. "Anyway. Mom's pissed. You were supposed to be home already. She's been sending her troops to every site with habitants nearby."

Sehun's hands start shaking with wrath. He thinks about all the disrupted lives and the chaos inflicted by his mother's command. Guilt clogs his throat, chokes him up. 

"How much time do we have?"

"I'd say not much. I was only a few miles ahead from the army."

"I'm coming with you." Jongin intervenes, and Sehun disagrees promptly. 

"No, you stay. I'll head back with my brother and Chanyeol and make up some excuse." He says sternly, before cupping Jongin's face. "I promise I'll be back for you."

Another promise. Sehun wishes from the bottom of his heart that he keeps this one.

"I don't want to just sit here and wait. Let me go with you," protests Jongin, turning away from the touch. He doesn't look pleased at all with the plan. Jongin can hunt and fight better than anyone, but Sehun is not risking, by any means, putting him under his mother's authority again.

"And do what?"

"For God's sake. We're running out of time here. If you want to keep the people from this village safe, you should hide right now." 

Jisung interferes frantically. Mud smears his face as sweat drips from his matted hair.

Sehun and Jongin finally break out of their heavy staring trance, only to reach for each other and kiss deeply. They don't see Jinsung rolling his eyes. In fact, they don't see much of anything barring one another. The wind moves as if they aren’t there at all, but they can only wish they weren't. 

"Make things right this time. I don't want to run and hide anymore." Jongin says, hands clasped around Sehun's neck, staring deep into his eyes.

"I will. I promise." They share one last kiss, and the most ugly and painful feelings snarl and enclose around Sehun's heart like thorny vines.

Jisung has to drag him by the sleeve to tear him apart from Jongin. "Hurry the hell up!"

"Wait, we have to get Chanyeol too." Sehun says, refusing to move without his guard. Refusing to leave Jongin behind. 

"I've already spoken to him. He was saying goodbye to his girlfriend. He should be waiting for us now."

As he finally walks away, Sehun sees the hurt welling in Jongin's eyes as he stands there, watching him leave. He knew it was coming too, but neither of them were prepared to say goodbye. 

Sehun looks back one last time wishing this would all just be a dream. But it isn't. It's reality, and reality hurts more than his nightmares.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A short while after, when Sehun looks over and sees what's coming, his breath skips at the sight of armored soldiers galloping ahead. There are hundreds of them, heavily armed. 

After mounting his horse, along with Chanyeol and Jisung, Sehun galloped towards the roads westward, far away from the village, where they knew the troop would be marching from. The general leading the troop recognizes them first, pulling on the reins. 

"Stop your horses. That's your Majesty!"

The whole elite force cues their horses to a stop, and although Sehun is on edge, he maintains his composure effortlessly. 

"What is this about? Have you been looking for me?"

"Your Majesty has been MIA for weeks. The Queen has ordered your rescue."

"I do not need to be rescued. In fact, I'm returning home at this exact moment."

There is silence. The general stares at Jisung skeptically, probably wondering how he'd gotten there. Jisung glares right back, and the soldier flickers his eyes back to the prince. 

"Where have you been?"

"Nowhere." Sehun replies shortly. 

"There hasn't been any specific location. We've been traveling around many places lately." Chanyeol concludes by his side, with a hard grip on the reins. 

"I needed some time away to heal and train to regain my strength." Sehun says, trying to persuade them. No matter what, he cannot let the troops pass through. "Not that I believe I owe you any justification of my whereabouts."

"Forgive us, your Majesty. We're just following the Queen's orders."

"Shall we head back now?"

"But there's still-"

"That's an order. I'm here, aren't I? What else do you need?" As much as Sehun wants to be freed from his duty, part of him will never leave his royal side. So commanding comes easily to him, authority running in his blood. 

"Nothing else, your Majesty." The general acquiesce, apologetic eyes downcast. 

Wind whistles in his ear, sneaking under his clothes to freeze him wherever it touches despite the sun shining warmly in the sky. There's a moment of uncertainty from the army, and Sehun's heart beats in overdrive.

If they don't retreat, a battle will ensue. His hand is ready to reach back for his bow. The general then whistles, and all horses are propelled back, riding off in a thundering of hooves. 

Heaving a breath, Sehun allows his shoulders to slump in relief. In the distance the palace is visible already, high upon the hill overlooking the town, awaiting for him. Superior, untouchable.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He makes his way to the court full of royals and magistrates with bold steps, almost all figures of authority are present here, seated next to the Queen's throne. He's met with pointed looks. Some are judgmental, others are shocked. Most of them are just curious. On the throne, his mother sits majestically, eyebrows raised and mouth pulled down in a disturbed expression that does not falter when she dismisses the occupants from her chambers. 

When Sehun stands before the Queen awaiting her judgment, his heart flies up to his mouth. Still, he doesn't bow, he doesn't kneel. He remains on his feet, stiff hands resting at his sides. The Queen stares down at him, eyes hollow and dark, hair hanging loose around her face. Her lips so red they seem to be bleeding. The only spots of real color against the rest of her white face. She grimaces at Sehun's worn out clothes, but doesn't comment on his lack of neatness. 

It’s been months since they last saw one another, and Sehun realizes he hasn’t missed her in the slightest. 

"Have you found what you were looking for, son?" Asks the Queen, and her voice rings with the authority that comes with age and royal rank.

"I might have. But considering that I'm back with empty hands, it might not be what I was expecting." Sehun drawls, he takes the thought of Jongin’s warm body and comfy bed and crushes it deep, deep down until it’s somewhere he can’t reach. Surely, it wasn't at all what he expected to find, but here, with the Queen, he'd better pretend it never existed in the first place. 

"We are glad you're back on time, son." His father speaks for the first time, and his voice sounds weak, listless. Sehun's heart swells. The King looks pale, so skinny his skin looks sallow and his eyes sunken. His body looks too frail to fit in the comfort of his throne. 

"Father?" Sehun croaks, sensing something is amiss. "What happened to you?"

"I'm sick. I'm afraid I don't have much time left."

This only causes the adrenaline coursing through Sehun’s veins to flow faster and faster, distractions and jumbled up thoughts forcing him to steady his mind and focus.

"Sick? You were fine the last time I saw you. How did that-"

"You should be ready when the time comes, Sehun. You're going to take over the throne sooner than you think." The King says throatily, tone uniform. As he looks upon him, Sehun wonders if his father is more scared of living or dying.

"That's why we should hurry with your marriage. I'd like to see my favorite son on the altar, with the love of his life."

The Queen chimes and Sehun goes silent, stockstill where he is, all ministrations halted. 

It all makes sense now. Pushing his father out of the way, lifespan shortened like that, so Sehun would finally take over without a chance to renounce. It sounded like a good ploy by the Queen's standards. Sehun felt disgusted and utterly disappointed. 

"No, I am not doing that. She's not the one I love." Sehun jibes, and with every single breath he takes, he wishes this elongated humiliation would just end itself.

"We don't have time for your meaningless tantrums." The Queen remarks with her possibly inhuman heart. "We can't put this off anymore."

"You made sure of that, didn't you mother?" Sehun snaps spitefully, stomach twisting in horrible knots. "Do you think I can't see it? You're killing father. All because you can't wait any longer to make me king."

"Shut up! You don't know a thing. You slept for months and then the first thing you did after recovering was run away after that… slut. You couldn't even meet your real fiancee before leaving."

Sehun's pulse races a million miles in his chest. Fear streaks through his veins as her voice increases in tone, but Sehun keeps his gaze steady on her. 

"Don't call him that."

"Do you really love him that much?"

Tears prickle along the edges of his eyes "I do." Sehun manages past dry lips. The Queen hums, noncommittal, and casts her eyes aside. 

"Then I have a proposal for you." She lifts a hand, waving another commander over. "Bring the hostage in."

Through the gates burst a group of armoured guards, similar to the ones from the troops that Sehun bumped into a few days ago, though he doesn't recognize any of those faces. All he sees is the hostage they're hauling harshly through struggles of resistance. 

Jongin is thrown roughly to the floor, landing on his knees right by Sehun's feet. His wrists are bound, bruises and scratches etching his face. His clothes are stained with blood, ripped and tattered, barely covering his also bruised chest. 

Undoubtedly, Jongin wouldn't back down without a fight, but seeing him like this, vulnerable and defeated, makes Sehun realize that sometimes fighting isn't worth it. 

Jongin keeps his head lowered, avoiding Sehun's eyes. Despite the visible shaking of his shoulders and the tears that are rolling down his face, he lifts his gaze finally, swallows down his sobs, and shoots a fierce glare towards the Queen. 

"Jongin?!" He can feel something tug at his heartstrings, yearning to run towards his lover.

"Stop this madness. Let him go. Right now!" He shouts, pain exploding in his chest. 

"I'm sorry, Sehun. They caught me right after you left. They threatened the village if I didn't come." Jongin whispers, staring back at him through swollen eyes.

The quiet sadness in his eyes causes Sehun to be filled with nothing but regret. It's all his fault that Jongin ended up imprisoned, tortured. 

It’s just too much to bear, and his heart feels like it's shattering, knowing he was the cause of that hurt expression.

"That's right, son. He's here. For you. You can have him all you want." The Queen grins at that, flat and mirthless.

She laughs in a belittling way that makes Sehun's blood turn icy.

"What do you mean?"

"Marry Lisa by next week. Take the throne. And you can have Jongin here whenever you please behind closed doors." She smiles, a taut, heartless thing.

"I won't do that. I'll never have him as just… as just a second." Sehun spits, outraged. 

"Why not? There isn't any other way for you to have him. I'm giving you your only option." The words drop like stones from her mouth. Sehun wonders if deep down inside her heart, she still harbors any love for him. Because it seems unlikely.

"Listen to your mother. That's the only way." The King speaks at length, a dry cough tumbles out of his mouth right after, and Sehun winces, as though he can feel his father's pain. 

"I'm not going to be another you, father. You don't rule, you have no power. You only hide behind your wife. And I will not hide behind her cruel shadow like you do."

"Don't talk like that to the King." His mother reprimands. "As long as you procreate with your wife and give me grandsons, I will no longer interfere in your affairs with this… man."

The whole world settles into stillness between them. With a quiet, burning rage Sehun husks. "You want what?"

"Accept it, or I'll have him killed right here, right now." The more she manages to rile Sehun up, the more permanent the smug grin stays. Wiping the tears out of his eyes, Sehun sighs, never once considering catering to such vileness. 

"I love him, mother. And I won't accept this nonsense."

The Queen scoffs, "Your call." She settles, before ordering. "Bring me his head."

The guards collectively reach for their swords, ready to strike. All at once. Sehun's heart lurches up to his throat, and as time seems to move in slow motion around him, he shouts.

"No, wait!"

His mother raises her palm, indicating her guards to hold still. Jongin is still kneeling on the floor, though he's no longer crying. He's just taking it without batting an eye, accepting the end. Expectant, the Queen glances at her son, so Sehun proposes. 

"At least let him fight. He deserves as much."

There's silence for a moment, as the Queen considers the offer. Sehun doesn't really have a plan formed other than his trust for Jongin and his fighting capabilities. The odds are not in their favor, and this is the only way Sehun can come up to save Jongin's life. 

"He earns his freedom if he wins. And I promise I'll let him go forever and never look for him again as long as I live. I promise I will marry and be a king and have children. Just let him fight." Sehun insists, briefly glancing at Jongin hoping to convey his intention. He just wishes Jongin will forgive him later. If not, he just wishes Jongin to survive, stay alive, even if it is to be apart from him. 

"Against an entire army?" Disinterested eyes sweep up and down the dancer’s stature, sizing him up under tremendous scrutiny of the Queen's powerful pair of eyes. She shakes her head, unconvinced that Jongin stands a chance, and she grins wickedly. 

"Fine. It'll be fun watching him fight for his miserable life." She then turns to one of her guards. "Give him a sword."

Sehun watches as Jongin's wrists get released from the binds, as he's handed a sword for combat, as he takes a stance in front of dozens of guards, lifting the blade, both hands clasped tightly around the hilt. Not once does he glance at Sehun, and it breaks his heart, guilt poisoning his senses. Jongin doesn't seem frightened or even intimidated by his opponents. He looks ready, maybe even excited to fight. 

Sehun's heart is racing, with every languid action Jongin takes, his heart feels like it's about to burst. He's so fearful and afraid.

Sehun stands motionless, hands itching to grab a weapon and jump in to help, but he refrains from doing so, he just watches, praying for the place and the people that will soon be covered in blood while swords clash and grunts echo.

Positive prayer words repeat in Sehun’s mind as the guards close in on him, firmly holding his sword over his shoulder. 

Jongin roars angrily and slashes down at a guard’s head. He counters another one by raising his sword high and striking horizontally. His blow offsets his opponent's, and the tip of his sword slices cleanly across his face.

As the guard screams out in pain and clutches at his face, Jongin stares at his opponent with a mix of surprise and malice. 

He breathes heavily as sweat runs down his face. He holds the blade even, a perfect, undaunted horizon, always leveled with the nose.

The next knight swings first, and Jongin receives the blow with the flat of his blade. In that instant he turns the edge toward him, leveraging around the guard’s blade and thrusting at the gaps in his armor.

Barely standing, Jongin is tired, and he's already hurt from several glancing blows from before, without the protection of an armor.

Still he keeps moving, anger tearing at his mind, wanting to unleash all his rage and hatred on that battle.

Blades bind together again. The knight swings wildly with his other arm, completely missing Jongin. 

He cracks a smile. This time, he makes sure to make eye contact. For a brief moment, he can see uncertainty in his opponent’s eyes. He feels grateful for the advantage. 

Advancing. The men charge at him with the hooked blade upheld, going to his foreswing and following it with a backswing. Jongin dodges the first and meets the second with his broadsword. The weight of the thing sends his opponent’s blade back, back, back…but not far enough to knock the blade free of his hands. 

Striking. This arcing shot slices the fabric of Jongin’s shirt at the midsection. It misses the flesh behind it by perhaps a centimeter. 

Jongin swings. The man staggers. The first two swings miss badly, but the third, a backswing off the one before it, finds flesh. One by one, the heavy broadsword eats through his opponents as easily as air. Fighters drop to their knees, try to stand, and drop again. 

He raises his sword and smiles one last time, avoiding eye contact as he brings it down for the last strike of the tourney. 

He's the winner. 

The last remaining knight is tossed aside in an unconscious state, and Jongin keep marching over towards the altar, blood droplets dotting his face and rage bathing his eyes. 

Sehun gasps, a mixture of relief, joy and fear overwhelming his heart. As Jongin steps onto the altar, no one dares moving. 

Placing the tip of his sword under Queen’s chin, Jongin lifts it till she is looking up at him. "Your Majesty."

Having vented all his anger and hatred in his successive blows, Jongin made sure to reserve his last ounce of energy to face the Queen. Although Sehun knows Jongin would never be capable of hurting his mother, still a dull twist of sinking fear settles in his chest.

"How dare you?" The Queen grumbles. 

"I won." Jongin replies, defying airs of authority. 

"You can't win against me. I'm the Queen."

The blade presses further into her skin, drawing blood over the blade of the sword. 

"Are you sure? I know your little secret." Jongin challenges, his expression turning into something Sehun had never witnessed before. Something cruel, but honest. Both the Queen and her son freeze at Jongin's remark. So he continues.

"Sehun isn't the son of the King. He doesn't have pure royal blood. Therefore, he has no right sitting on that throne."

"Shut up! Stop it!" The Queen is hit with a fit of anger and unsettlement, mind soaking in fear and newfound pain. For the first time, her fears and wounds are unveiled. 

"What are you talking about?" The prince gives him a puzzled expression, remembering the face of the man who took him in heartily and received him with open arms, eyes full of adoration as though Sehun was his own son. And everything falls into place. 

"Was he the real love of your life, my Queen? Your former doctor? The one you cruelly exiled from the palace in order to keep your secret? Right after giving birth to his son?" Jongin proceeds, levelling the sword at the Queen's throat now. "I've met him. He told me everything. He showed me all the letters you used to exchange where you claimed to love him, but not as much as you loved power."

"He's still alive?" She questions, shocked, and Sehun sees the first tear run down her cheek followed by many others. 

Jongin scoffs in triumph nonchalance, it takes a moment or two for the words to sink in, but then the impact of that utterance finally hits Sehun. Bullseye. 

"Is that why Sehun is your favorite son? Is that why you're so afraid of being dethroned? Is that why you're so obsessed with making him King?" Jongin continues his verbal onslaught, hands shaking around the sword. 

"It's a lie. All lies." The Queen cries out, fidgeting on her throne. Suddenly, she doesn't look so powerful anymore. Sehun has to rip his gaze away, because it hurts too much watching it all breaking apart. 

"He's confided everything to me. I've got the letters. And as much as you try to deny it, he still has the same birthmark on his neck. Like Sehun does." 

Jongin's face is filthy but there is relief in his eyes from finally letting out all those secrets. 

"I'm waiting for your command, your majesty. What do you want me to do to your unfaithful wife?" He urges, glancing at the emperor. The King is just as shocked as everyone else, sitting speechless and frozen in his throne.

"I want all of you… to leave." He hazards a command. "Now. Everyone… out…" His voice is completely weak, an emotionless string of random words.

He clutches at his chest with trembling hands, face scrunching in a painful expression. He's dying. 

"Father!" Sehun cries achingly, pleading with the air. He stumbles blindly to reach his father, tripping on his own long robes, falling to his knees, tears streaming down like the lake by the pavilion, trickling down his cheeks, never ending. It all becomes a blur as he registers people grabbing him, taking him away. There are more guards hovering over him, and distantly he hears his brother's voice too, calling out for him. 

He sees Jongin getting farther and farther away from him, his mouth is moving. He thinks he sees him saying 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you'. He tries saying it back, mouth moving voiceless, and it all becomes silent. 

His voice. His mind. His heart. 


	9. Chapter 9

When autumn begins to die, whitened by frost and the frigid cold, Sehun returns to the village. 

Fallen leaves still litter the walkway, bathing it in dark red and orange, and he steps on them with a satisfying crunch. The porch light is on, and the familiar yellow glow makes the house warm and inviting.

This time he peers up at the small house and all the medical herbs blooming in front, and he wonders how had he been so deprived of calling this his actual home. He thinks he could have gotten used to that far easier than abiding to royal obligations. 

He thinks about how his life would have turned out if he had grown up in the presence of a father, one that would spin him around by the arms and kiss him goodnight. Instead, the one he’d been calling father had taken care of the palace and put an entire kingdom before his own children. 

Not that he ever blamed his father for simply following his duty; but now, standing in front of the door of the cozy home knowing that his real father is in there, offering everything he's never had the chance to cherish, Sehun can't help the regret that blossoms deep inside his heart, for all the things he's wished to nurture with his father but never could. 

The doorknob twists under his palm, movement coming from the inside, and Sehun's heart both sinks and rises all at once. He holds in a breath as the door slowly drifts open. 

His father looks at him with a mixture of bemused affection and growing confusion while Sehun just stands there, motionless and taken aback, a thousand words ready to tumble out of his lips, but none finding their way out of his mouth. 

"You came back." His father says, patting his cheek sympathetically. The touch is tender, so simple yet so foreign that Sehun almost feels like a fool for leaning into it so desperately. 

"I'm keeping my promise," He says, before adding tentatively "dad."

A content smile reaches the doctor's eyes, and Sehun realizes that whilst he lived a lie his entire life, his father lived the truth, and even so could never fully appreciate it either, impelled to bury it and mould his life around lies. In the end, both their happiness were taken away. 

"You know, this should feel weird. But it doesn't. Knowing that you are my father felt right from the very beginning." Admits Sehun, voice low yet earnest, dripping with sincerity.

"The moment you walked through that door I knew that it was all worth it. All the waiting, and everything I had to give up. I knew eventually you would find your way back to me." 

A smile pulls thoughtlessly across Sehun's lips, and he brings his father into a tight embrace. From this close he spots the birthmark on the side of his neck, proof of their relation. It looks exactly the same as Sehun's, a discreet tinge of dark. 

"I'm here now. Hopefully, you won't have to lose anything anymore." Sehun tells him, sighing happily against his shoulder. Silence settles between them, and it feels wonderful. When Sehun pulls back, he notices the hardened crease on his father's brow, lips tight in a thin line. 

"How is… how is she?" He asks, face suddenly contorted into one of worry. 

"The King has sent her away to another province. She'll be working as a courtlady as punishment. Also, her presence isn't allowed at the palace anymore. He couldn't come up with anything worse than that. He's still in love with her."

"I'm relieved." The doctors drawls, his expression easing out. The words that tumble out unknowingly encompass vulnerability, honesty, and gentleness.

"I visit her often. You can come with me, if you want." Offers Sehun, already imagining all the ways he can indulge his father. He has a lifetime worth to catch up with him and be a devoted son. And he doesn't want to waste any opportunity. 

"I've said my goodbyes to her a long time ago. And I'm at peace like this." 

Sehun hums comprehensively. His hand is still nestled within his father's palm, and he finds it magnificent. 

"You know, I've forgiven her. Despite all her wrongdoings. She's still my mother. Will always be. And I don't want to loathe my own mother. I just can't."

"You're indeed such a good man." His father says with a glint of pride glossing his eyes. "How does Jongin feel about that?"

"Pretty much the same as me. Jongin isn't capable of hating anyone." Sehun chuckles remembering how Jongin beat himself up after confronting the King, after revealing his mother's secret, and also for not telling Sehun sooner that he knew the truth. Repentantly, Jongin thought Sehun would never look him in the eye again, so he packed up and mounted a horse, until Sehun had to literally carry him back inside over his shoulder and kiss him so deeply, whispering over and over that he still loved Jongin, that he understood him, that he forgave him until he coated all of Jongin's lamentations. 

"You two are good for each other, and I couldn't be happier for that." His father notes, tugging him into another brief hug. 

"Abeoji," Sehun calls, thrilled to the feeling of that word in his mouth. "If you want, you can come to the palace with me. I can get you your own quarters. A cozy room. A respectful position." 

The doctor's eyes widen, accompanied by a heartfelt grin. He shakes his head dismissively, making Sehun pout a little. 

"I don't need any of that, son. People here need me. And I'd rather serve them. My people." He insists, with an earnest nod that evens into a small smile. Sehun sighs, giving in, rubbing the pads of his fingers against the nape of his neck.

"Okay. I understand. It was worth the shot." 

In a sense, he respects his father's decision. He could put his knowledge for a better purpose here, for those necessitous people who actually need him. 

"Thank you, for everything. I'll come back as soon as I can." Sehun promises, this time confident in his words. "Whatever you need, you can always come to me too."

"Tell Jongin I'm sending him my greetings, could you?" His father clasps both hands on his shoulders, affection palpable on his tone when he declares. "I love you, my son."

Sehun nods, says it back heartily, accepting his father's blessings. And when he says farewell, his throat feels tight all over again. Only this time is joy that overwhelms him. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"How is he?"

Jongin blinks up at him, tilts his head in anticipation for an answer. He takes Sehun's hand nonchalantly, and the gesture now comes thoughtlessly, so naturally. Sehun doesn't even recall how it felt like walking beside Jongin without having his fingers intertwined with his. 

"He's doing okay. He said to send his regards to you. It's a pity I couldn't return the letters."

"They've been confiscated by the investigation bureau as credible proof against the Queen." Jongin reminds him. "Personally, I think he'll be better off without them." He shrugs, and Sehun can't really disagree with him on that matter. After so long, holding on to the past clearly isn't the best option for his father. 

He has Sehun now. And Jongin as well. From now on, they intend to erase all the bad memories from the past and replace them with new meaningful ones for the future. 

"So, shall we get you all dressed up and neat for your brother's coronation?" Jongin beams, prodding playfully at Sehun's ribs. His muscles mass have stiffened and enlarged greatly lately, and after long hours of harsh training, Sehun's regained his sturdy physique. 

The air fills his lungs easily now, his appetite is as untamed as a lion's, and his body resistance is like one of an unbeatable warrior. But mostly he thinks it's just Jongin's presence influencing him. 

"Oh yeah. That’s happening. Should I be worried?" Sehun quirks an inquisitive brow upwards. 

"About Jisung? Nah, that kid was born to rule. He's tough and honest. What's better than that?"

"He's too young, though." Sehun counters, partially feeling fearful for his little brother, but the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes there couldn't be a better King than Jisung.

"That's why he has you, Right State Councillor." Jongin’s smile is broad, impossibly fond, framed by his dimples.

"I like that title. It's a loss less burdensome." Sehun muses, smiling a little. "And on top of that, I get to have you." His new high-level position came to him as a gift by his older brother, and Sehun couldn't reject such a blessing. He's got a job, he's got his brothers standing by his side regardless of his real origins, and a lovely boyfriend. Sehun couldn't wish for anything more. 

Jongin laughs, a dainty and muffled sound he hides behind the back of a closed fist as they head towards the palace's outskirts. And their hands never detach from each other's.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


All is joyous at the castle, met with cheer and excitement from the ceremony's occupants.

The palace is abuzz with activity. The servants chatter and gossip as they ready the horses and carriage from the visitors, royalties from every corner of the country, bringing over the most expensive gifts, and probably undeniable offers of alliances too. 

It's a feast to celebrate, after all, and it's as grand as it should be. 

They watch among the audience as the crown is set on Jisung's head by the eunuch, and somehow it fits him perfectly, as if it was just waiting to find its right owner. Jisung's smile is as confident as ever, but Sehun thinks he sees beyond that. The trepidation that waves behind his eyes. 

Sehun has felt it before. But he knows Jisung belongs to that throne more than he ever did. 

As emperors, magistrates and servants alike bow in reverence to their new majesty, the King salutes his youngest son as crown prince. Finally, Sehun feels the weight lifting off his shoulders and falling right onto Jisung's, but he seems to conduct it strongly, straightening his posture and smiling proudly at his people. 

When Jisung announces the feast to commence, the court dancers come out to perform, music blasts from instruments, drinks and food are served plentifully. By Sehun's side, Yeonseok rests a palm on his shoulder, and the fondness in his smile brings a warmth to Sehun's chest. 

Sometimes, looking at him is like looking in a mirror for their notorious similar appearance. If it wasn't for the ten years gap between them, they could doubtlessly be mistaken as twins. Maybe their mother prayed incessantly on her knees every night for such a miracle to happen when they aren't even born from the same father.

"I'm really happy for you, Sehun." Yeonseok blurts, a large hand blanketing Sehun's cheek affectionately. "You know you'll always be my little brother, no matter what, right?" 

"I know. The feeling is mutual."

"Father too. He's glad to have you around."

Sehun's smile falters, his brow knits in sudden apprehension. "Yeah, if you say so," Sehun mumbles with a light, unconvinced shrug. 

The King has survived battles and wars, a heart attack and the poison offered by his own unfaithful wife. Still, facing an illegitimate son doesn't seem like something the King would be too accepting of. Despite it all, he still allowed Sehun's new position at the palace, however, if they were distant before, now it should feel as though they don't even know each other at all.

It's sad, honestly. But Sehun has someone to fill that spot. He has a real father now. 

"Anyway. I guess that's my cue to leave." Yeonseok says, clearing his throat. "I think someone over there wants to see you."

Yeonseok excuses himself just in time for Sehun to turn around and spot the princess. She's fumbling with the laples of her satin pink dress, and her hair is falling loose around her tiny, pretty face. She opens a bright smile towards Sehun when she sees him drifting close to her, and once again warmth bathes Sehun's heart. 

"Hey there, ex almost husband. I've never seen such a wide smile coming from you."

"Lisa, you're even prettier than the last time I saw you." There's no need to fake smiles this time around, and the one Sehun offers her right now is genuine, making her mimic him with the same intensity. 

"I even get compliments now. Oh Sehun. What happened to you?" She jokes, a delicate hand slapping him on the shoulder. 

"A lot, actually. But what matters is that I'm happy now." He says haltingly, unsure of what else to say. For a moment he thinks she will throw accusations at him for abandoning her and breaking ties with her province. 

But Lisa looks at him, her eyes huge and dark and sharp, and though she says nothing, he feels like she understands it anyway. She studies him with narrowed eyes for a time, and her hair is liquid silk around her shoulders.

"You're with him, aren't you?" She guesses, and a smile blooms across Sehun's lips despite the pink flush to his cheeks. 

"I hope you are happy now too. I really do." Sehun mutters, tucking a loose strand of her silky hair behind her ear. Lisa is beautiful, and she deserves only equally beautiful things in her life. 

"Don't worry about me. I'm dealing with life as a single princess." She giggles, and her nose scrunches adorably a little. "Come here." She envelopes her thin arms around Sehun, stands on her tiptoes to embrace as tight as her small frame will allow her. 

"Go get your man, he's waiting for you." She whispers to him when the winds begin to abate around them, her breath warming Sehun's cheek. 

"Bye, Lisa. Let's meet again soon." He makes sure to escort her out, deliver her to her guards and tuck her inside her sumptuous palanquin. With a kiss to his cheek she says goodbye, and Sehun promises to protect her like his own family. 

It's the last thing he sees of her as Lisa’s carriage clatters down the road, heading away from the palace.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Fascinated by the court dancers, Jongin stands at a corner, timidly hidden behind a pillar, watching the performance unfold. His fingers thrum against the concrete according to the rhythm of the music, his eyes look flabbergasted at each movement. 

As he approaches, Sehun guesses Jongin wishes to join them and dance, and once he does that, his shyness will quickly fade away, unleashing the charming dance that resides within him. As much as Sehun wants to tell him to go and flaunt about his boyfriend's talent, he's reserved the time for the two of them only. 

Dark lashes caress Jongin's cheeks with every blink. his expression is relaxed, guileless. He looks so ethereal like this, so  _ him _ that it feels almost unreal to have such an exuberant beauty. 

"Do you want to get out of here?" Sehun asks, bringing Jongin back to the present. 

Jongin sighs fondly, and there's a small smile that blooms on his face.

"With you, I'll go anywhere." Jongin huffs out a laugh. He ducks his head, shaking it lightly, before tipping it back again to peer up at Sehun.

Together they wander off to the palace's yard, where it used to be their favorite spot to sneak into.

The garden's always a shade brighter after the morning rain. As if the gift of the skies isn't water, but liquid magic, washing the world to show what's there all along, nature in its humble brilliance. The buttercups become gold, the grass the shade of every dreamers meadow, roots quenched, soil renewed, coming with the bursts of birdsongs.

Sehun strokes the delicate threading of the blooms with one finger, fondness and happiness swelling in his heart.

In the warm, thick air of the afternoon, bees hum lazy circles and the fields exude the fragrance of grass and flowers. The plum trees are blooming. Everything is perfect. 

Jongin gazes over his shoulder at the sky and trees and sun. And then he smiles. 

"Enjoying your freedom?" Questions Sehun, fingertips skating slowly to settle along the curve of Jongin’s cheek. He leans in to catch his lips in a kiss as another breeze filters over them, making Jongin shiver. He pulls him closer, pulls his chest flush against his own, feels the bare curve of his chest find the tilt of Jongin’s own. He tips his head and breathes in that familiar and soothing, vacant perfume of home. 

"Sure. My freedom is with you." Jongin's voice rings delighted. 

Jongin smiles that godforsaken, ravishing smile again, stroking Sehun's cheek like he's the most precious and delicate thing in the world. it's almost as if Sehun's thoughts are all transparent, and Jongin can see through them. He's thinking of nothing else besides being with Jongin. Free, perfect, home. 

When they kiss again, with unrestricted touches and promises of something more later, Sehun is certain that this is no longer a forbidden place to fall in love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another finished one!
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading this and patiently waiting for updates. Please, I would really appreciate if you let me know what you think of this story. 
> 
> Love you all and let's all support Exo and their solos and subunits (and Jongdae especially) 😘

**Author's Note:**

> [X](https://twitter.com/_sehuning_)


End file.
